Category: Blog Posts

Vicarious Roguism


With all the temptation to join in the current MMORPG’s and my recent acquisition of Dragon Age: Origins, I’ve been pondering much about something I always find myself doing. For so many years now, I’ve loaded up that stereotypical fantasy game with its promises of epic diversions and crafted an identity from the depths of my imagination confined by pixels and stats. I’ve named the blank sheet of a character some elegant, yet completely impractical name, defined my identity through them with the idealistic traits I find myself drawn to artistically (long hair, fair eyes, athletic build).

When it came down to what job this fantasy personality might be, I’ve almost always settled on the class Rogue (or various incarnations, including but not limited to: Thief, Gambler, Assassin, and Corsair). Sure, I’ve played other classes just to see what they’re like, but this is the one that always felt closest to home.

Why is that? Do I secretly want to sneak into places I’m not allowed to be in? Do I suppress the urge to steal purses when citizens walk by? Better yet, do I somehow want to be an outlaw? Do those of you who play Warriors or Paladins find that this reflects your own personality as far as being honest and straightforward? Mage-players, do you find that this reflects something about your proclivity for intellectual thought and logic? Stereotypically speaking, of course.

While I don’t profess to be an outlaw, I’ve always been intrigued by forbidden places. There’s a house on 18th street in Midtown Atlanta that’s been abandoned for a few years and I can’t resist the urge to peek inside when the door is open. It was once a bonsai studio and I can make out the tall studio windows, broken glass, and husks of hanging plants still inside. I’ve never gone in, however, and I’m ceaselessly intrigued whenever I walk by it.

If anything, it’s the Rogue’s tendency for moral adaptability that encourages me to enjoy them most. I’ve never been one to settle for a black and white view of the world. There’s always a different slant to any debate, a possibility to see between the lines. This also links to my love of characters, particularly villains, who can gain our sympathy because they have strangely logical and sympathetic reasons for doing what they’re doing. By going Rogue, I like the ability to keep people guessing and to play the Trickster. Tack on a healthy dose of cleverness and you have traits I admire and would go so far as to say reflect my own personality (if you subtract two parts air-headedness and one part inability to be stealthy).

Funnily enough, I more often than not play the gentleman thief in most RPG games. What this says about me, I don’t quite know. The fact that I also play Elves/half-Elves almost exclusively is an entirely different debate altogether (elegant, aloof, nature-loving, snobbish? Hmmm…future blog topic, methinks).

Maybe it’s no surprise my favorite superhero is Batman, the most Roguish of superheroes and the definitive figure for that shadowy part of ourselves that does what it takes, even if it takes breaking the rules, to bring justice to the world.

But I’ve gone from D&D to Batman all in one post so I think I’ll end this for now.

What class do you play? What do you think this says about you? What fascinates you about any particular fantasy role? I’m dying to know!

Image from Thief 3: Deadly Shadows

Evolution of a Series – The Christmas Project

To point out a strange fact, I have always been a sort of ‘one shot’ scene artist. In the past, I was prone to drawing character portraits or specific scenes with no sequence, all art that could be digested at once with little baring on the other images I might draw of the same characters. Now, it seems, a natural evolution of my artistic development has been a tendency to start thinking in themes, or series.

From a business standpoint, series are more marketable with the appeal of being able to buy a ‘set’ or to identify with that part of a series that represents you (ie. people love a birthstone series because that means there’s something personal involved in the symbolism of a series that they can get for themselves or gift to a loved one). From an artist’s standpoint, I’m enjoying the challenge of presenting a set of art with consistent quality that utilizes strong symbols and the potential to develop art with evolving symbolism.

My earliest attempt at such an undertaking has been a project that started out with indistinct roots in 2006. I was short on cash for the holidays and aching at the thought that I would be unable to provide any of the gifts that my loved ones deserved. I did, however, have some metallic cardstock and color pencils to my name. And so, in a torrent of sleepless nights and sketching, the first of the ongoing Christmas Project began.

Christmas 2006 – Angel of Noel

I never have been one for the traditional images of Santa, reindeer, and nativities for Christmas. For me, these images feel so overused and have lost the impact that I think more primal symbols such as holly, poinsettia, and the deep rich greens and reds of winter festivals have. The first of this series came alive with the realization that poinsettia flowers come in a range of simple, but striking colors that make for an elegant backdrop for this angel, who I wanted to channel maternal beauty and nurturing with a non-denominational appeal. She wears the veil of a holy maiden and the holly garland of a celebrator, her eyes closed as she honors the quiet elegance of the flowers and candlelight. I was also inspired by the Mexican legend behind poinsettia which speaks of two children who did not have the money to honor baby Jesus at their church’s nativity. Being poor, they could only manage to pick weeds to decorate the manger. The other children chided them terribly, but the weeds burst into flames that turned into a beautiful red plant, creating the beautiful miracle of poinsettia, which are known as “the flame leaf” or “flower of the holy night”.

Christmas 2007 – Holiday Nouveau

The next in the series was my first concerted effort to pay homage to one of my favorite masters of illustration, Alphonse Mucha. My favored holly and poinsettia are present, but portrayed in the decorative style of the art nouveau movement, which gives everything the sleek decorative flare that only crisp lines and soft color can. Snow-laden evergreen branches have worked their way in as well, as I’ve always enjoyed the pristine tranquility of snow hinting at the green boughs underneath. So peaceful and reminiscent of my days in Colorado, where snow covered everything, a rare sight around these parts. Interestingly enough, I discovered the difference between my style of anatomy and Mucha’s shows itself in the fact that the shoulders of his ladies are less muscled and more sloping with rounded subtle chins. It seems I do so love my athletic swimmer’s build when working with the female figure!

Christmas 2008 – Advent Angel

Another angel took flight in 2008, where I found inspiration in the amalgamation of symbols from the lovely birdflowers and birthstone series by Brenda Lyons and Jessica Douglas, who both struck a chord with me in combining the flowers and birthstones for each month with an angelic figure. This is perhaps the most symbol-heavy of the Christmas series with its original purpose serving as the first of what was to be a birthstone angel series. The Blue Topaz and Turquoise stones of December took form in the angel’s dual-toned wings. In the window behind her, motifs combining the flowers of December, the Narcissus, holly, and poinsettia, spiral around the center with narcissus growing at her feet. She also wears the crown of Saint Lucia, a saint celebrated in Scandinavian nations (and others) by a feast day near the winter solstice where young girls dress with a candlelit crown and bring sweets in a procession. A running theme in this series hearkens back to the idea of Winter as a gray season where the pleasures of good company and a fire stave off the cold. I also can’t imagine a Christmas without the presence of white candles and lights, one of my favorite decorative motifs for its simple elegance. However, I’ve decided to scrap this approach as the background feels too open and empty. I am sensing massive stained glass panels in my future!

Christmas 2009 – December’s Window

I loved the window behind the angel in “Advent Angel” too much to let it slip into obscurity, so I decided to feature it prominently in this year’s card, which seems like a paring down of all the things which have come before. I wanted to channel the sense of stillness in winter with the light of celebration, good company, and reverence for the life that lay dormant in the snow. There are no figures but for the cardinal, who thrives even in the gray winters. The window stands as a guide and a portal for all those who might appreciate the meditative feeling of decoration that light and shape can bring us. Again, the motifs of narcissus, poinsettia, and holly figure prominently.

What’s Next?

In keeping with more subtle, non-traditional symbols, I hope to work in more of the feeling of warmth in company or perhaps even more traditional, not widely known versions of Saint Nick. Christmas is a surprisingly varied and symbol-rich holiday and I hope to keep this series going for as long as I am able! It will be a challenge to see if I can continue to make each one unique as the years go on.

If you like these images and want to use them for your own celebrations, greeting cards and post cards are available at my Zazzle shop. I hope you’ve enjoyed this walk through the creative process and that you’ll join me for future looks into the creative thought behind other series in the works.

May your holiday seasons be filled with joy and light!

Your Wings Await

A fresh can of Dr. Pepper (or two), comfortable pants, a late night muffin, and a bottle of painkiller for the eyestrain — this was at one time my regimen for playing MMORPGS (Massive Multiplayer Online Roleplaying Games) back in college. Gone are those days where I could survive on 4 hours sleep and function on chocolate muffins and cheeseburgers alone. (For the curious, I was an Elvaan named Zhele with plans to become a master thief-ranger. I’ll let you figure out the MMO). Nowadays, there just doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day nor the luxurious income (or excuse) to drop a monthly fee on a game.

And yet, it’s times like these where I miss that finger on the pulse of adventure and fantasy with friends in our own little personal epic. A new MMO called Aion recently released and I can’t help but feel that it was made for me. Extensive character customization, Assassins, crafting, warring angels & demons (of a sort), and your very own wings? I get brain twitches just looking at the beautiful videos and artwork for this game. I am totally sold (and have been since I saw the early concept art). Maybe, just maybe, I’ll work up the extra time and funds to play it? Can I brave being a n00b all over again?? We’ll see what happens once I finish my current huge project.

So why is it that we like MMO’s? Is it that feeling of being part of something larger than ourselves? I always got a warm and fuzzy feeling from saving lower level people from mobs that overwhelmed them or helping out a random stranger. Perhaps it’s the element of surprise? Nothing says ‘surprise’ better than stumbling upon a giant friendly looking sheep, only to learn that it’s actually a Tremor Ram that WILL kill you in one hit. Or how about hanging around and meeting great folks from around the world? I used to enjoy virtual boat rides where I could play virtual craps or telling jokes while we waited. I miss that spontaneity and bonding with others, a very tempting aspect of games, especially when considering the fact so many of us are work-at-home types who rarely get to see the outside world!

There’s always the fear I’ll get sucked in and never see the sunlight, but I’m not getting sunlight now so that might not be too incredibly detrimental as long as I learn to venture out from my hidey hole every now and again. Remembering how to socialize properly with others in real life is key!

So what are your memories of MMO’s? Do you play? What’s your favorite one? Why is it that we love them so much?

Image Source: Aion Aiva Wallpaper

The Eve is Done

Well, Halloween is done and now begins the slow shifting of things to harvest and frost decorations for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I’m still stubbornly clinging to my jack-o-lantern, who is growing long for the garbage bin. Maybe I can get it to ferment so we can have some drunken squirrels?

I had a howling good time exposing others to Ginger Snaps at our Halloween get-together, where there was more junk food than I’ve had in an entire year. I met my goal to make one of the grossest cakes ever. It’s a small obsession of mine to make the most visually gross food I can for Halloween. Last year it was a fleshworm made from a pork tenderloin wrapped in bacon with spaghetti teeth. What will it be next year? I think I will attempt the ultimate gross cake…the oozing organ cake. The sky is the limit!

Another reason I love Halloween is because I never quite grew out of playing Dress-Up and Pretend. It’s the single day of the year (outside of conventions) that I can dress up in bizarre clothing and go to the grocery store dressed as a Grim Reaper without getting too many odd stares. Would I dress this way normally if I could, year round? I’m beginning to wonder… This year my Halloween costume recycled the Hollow leather mask I made with a velvet robe and bits and pieces of shinies I’ve gathered over the years. It looks more wicked than I ever expected it to look!

And now the weekend is through and it’s back to the regularly scheduled workload. I’m into an exciting new chapter of the book I’m working on that involves my favorite sort of angels, the tattooed edgy kind with bad attitudes. There’s just something about these brand of angels that lend themselves so well to fantasy storytelling and building interesting personalities. Expect some sneaky peeks as my next set of paintings slowly come together.

I’m also pondering joining in on NaNoWriMo, but I am not sure if my workload will permit it! It is sooo very tempting though. If I did it, I’d randomly pick tropes from http://tvtropes.org and try to write a story based on that. I’m itching for that sort of challenge!

So what did you guys do for Halloween? Did you dress up? What holiday really gets you excited?

Beautiful Monstrosities


“Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.”
– Edgar Allan Poe, The Raven

I have once seen a vision of a woman stripped of her hopes and dreams, left with nothing but the purist of suffering and endless weeks of solitude. They marked her with the holly of hopelessness and tattooed her with the symbols of shame. When she was at that abyss’ edge between wishing for death and longing for peace, they took her from her wooden cage. Singing songs of prayer, they nailed her hands upon the floor. There, she dreams, dreams forever more.

But the dreaming has ended and the nightmares have begun, for the Sleeping Priestess will not lie in peace.

If you don’t know this scene, than you haven’t played Fatal Frame 3, one of my favorite video games of all time. You may not know this about me, but I am an avid fan of horror video games (not survival horror, but psychological horror). Silly, I know, considering I tend to draw such pristine and shiny things as angels. It’s around this time of year that I whip out my collection of Silent Hill and Fatal Frame games and let the shimmering worlds of nightmares, dripping walls, and deep, disturbing folklore soak into my bones.

I wonder sometimes why we are drawn to such images of the grotesque? Why on earth would I enjoy a game where the walls crawl with something that looks disturbingly like entrails or the ghost of a poor woman who was once sacrificed lurches inexorably towards me with an accursed touch? Why should I enjoy such a game rather than enjoying online casino game in a top rated casino and spending my time winning huge amount of money. There is an inescapable artistry to it that disturbs and fascinates me. Enthralling are these games like Silent Hill that can tell the story of ones dreams and nightmares affecting the real world for one like myself who has had plenty of dreams and nightmares plaguing them in the wee hours.

I don’t think it’s too much of a leap to ask ourselves the same question about macabre art and literature. From the works of Tim Burton and Neil Gaiman to some of the more grotesque perversions of Dali and the Surrealists, how can we look at things which are not considered ‘beautiful’ and find them fascinating? It seems against common sense, but I could stare at Dali’s work for hours pondering what tormented dreams he must have had, or curl up with Edgar Allan Poe’s stories and delight in all the images of masks and swirling dancers falling to the floor that Masque of the Red Death conjures for me.

The macabre is not for everyone, but there is certainly an audience for it, including myself. I find I am particularly fascinated by those stories that speak of the human spirit’s endearing ability to affect the living, even after death, or that terrifying potential of the mind to create illogical nightmares that feel so real while we’re having them. Much of the artwork and writing I have done which is not so well known are those which depict lucid dreams and nightmares, which somehow easily bridge into horror more than anything else. It’s a fascination with dreams and the mood of dreaming that really attract me to certain types of horror. I’m also a sucker for a good mystery, which horror stories of the psychological nature generally center around.

That’s my theory, anyways. I’m curious to know what yours are? Do you have a penchant for the macabre? Or are you left wondering why on earth anyone would enjoy such a thing?

Share with me your dark little secrets and remember to have a safe and spooky Halloween!

Image by Tecmo Ltd.

Killing the Muse

I must begin this journal with a disclaimer. This topic is perhaps one of the topics I am most passionate about, so please forgive my fervor if any of this offends you.

I’ve noticed a pattern lately, particularly at anime conventions, where fellow artists set up their tables, toss up a “will work for food” sign, and litter their booths with fan art because that is what sells at anime cons. There seems an atmosphere of desperation that’s almost sweltering with the $10 originals and $5 quickie sketches while the rest of us who are charging what we’re worth are left to the mercy of undercut prices. Besides selling yourself short, the other half of what bothers me so much about this practice is the sheer hopelessness of these artists. Not every artist in an anime convention artist alley is this way, but it’s something I notice more at anime conventions in general.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a well crafted and well thought out homage to anime. Selling fan art is not the problem, it’s the intention behind selling the fan art. I have gotten the response from some of these artists about how they can’t sell their original work because it’s fluffy and idealistic to think one can make money off of drawing what they love. My response to them is that if you’re looking for a quick bang for your buck, the art world is not the one for you. For one, it is certainly not guaranteed for many of us to make money right out of school, though I have heard of it happening. Success in any creative profession is about doing what you love and standing out in the crowd for it. Doing what you love and doing it well…because there are a thousand others trying to do the same thing. If you have no passion, you’re more than likely to be a flicker next to a candle in the crowd.

(EDIT for clarification) For example, if you’re selling fan art in the artist alley, what will a customer be more likely to buy? The half-inspired doodle of Sasuke or the inspired, or at the very least masterfully crafted, image of Sasuke that really says something about the character and your love of him? This same concept can be applied to the creative field as a whole.

I used to be in the same position where I thought I could not make money with the subjects I enjoyed (an unfortunate byproduct of a gallery-focused fine art education). That is, until I started talking to more professionals in my field (and in other creative fields as well, for that matter!). Every single one of them has told me the same thing during interviews:

“It’s scary relying on the uncertain, but do what you love and they will find you. Doing anything else is a way to get stuck designing cereal boxes till you don’t care anymore.”


If you market yourself to draw the popular things you don’t even remotely enjoy drawing, you are going to burn out quick because that is all anyone will ever want to hire you for. This business takes patience, focus, and self-motivation. Forcing yourself into it just to make a buck generally leads to sub-par work because you are not challenging yourself or fostering your inspiration and you just cannot compete with other people in the same field who genuinely enjoy and love what they’re doing.

I am not naive enough to think an artist or creative individual will always be inspired for every single job they’re hired for, but if these sorts of jobs become more numerous than the ones you enjoy in even the slightest capacity, than something’s gotta give. Why? Why torture yourself if you don’t enjoy it even a little anymore? There must be a breaking point where you discover just how much your creativity is worth to you.

Why not just get another job that’ll help pay the bills, and then do art on the side because you can truly enjoy it rather than be held prisoner by the motivation of money? Don’t kill yourself! Don’t kill your muse! If the single motivation of your art is to make money without any enjoyment of what you’re doing whatsoever, than I can almost guarantee you that it is not worth it.

(Another EDIT for clarification XD) However, as Brenda pointed out in the comments, if making money is your enjoyment and that doesn’t harm your inspiration or quality of work, than more power to you! I realize not all people operate the same way I do.

My plea to you, the desperate undercutting artists, the money focused fan art peddlers who are afraid to explore their limits, the hopeless and uninspired who feel trapped by their profession, you have options. There is no shame in guarding your inspiration as a hobby if you cannot do it as a profession. There is no dishonor in doing such a thing.

Please stop torturing yourselves! It is painful to watch…

Terrible Dawn + Announcements


“Terrible Dawn”
5×7 Inches, Watercolor & Color Pencil on Illustration Board

A brilliant blade flashes in the deepest dark. All who fear the light know her, for she is the Terrible Dawn, the slaughterer of demons and the blinding brilliance of Heaven.


She was really only meant to be a ‘minor’ illustration, but she just stole my focus and demanded more attention than a mere day. Could it be her resemblance to my muse, Aurora? She’s almost what I imagine Aurora to look like if she were transmogrified into an angel. Either way, this was much fun and an excellent test run of the Series 500 Wet Media Board from Strathmore.

All in all, it seems this board is an excellent upgrade from earlier series. It takes abuse well with wet-in-wet techniques, absorbs hue quicker and more effectively, and seems a general improvement all around over the regular cold press illustration board I’ve been using. Color pencil took to the surface just as well as it had with previous cold press board. I had some minor issues near the figure’s cheek bone where the line became ragged because the surface of the paper began to peel up and create tiny hairs, but I think this issue can be avoided if one waits more thoroughly for paper to dry between layers (I’m an impatient cuss). I like this new board, but will have to experiment more with future pieces to test its full capabilities.

In other news, after much toil and effort and caffeinated nights, I’m proud to release the new Amazon webstore of Angelic Shades! I’ll slowly be migrating the current offerings on my website over to this new webstore over the next few months. Since Amazon doesn’t allow bewbies, any mature rated items will be moving over to my Etsy shop.

Want to keep abreast of new items and offerings? Sign up for my mailing list or keep an eye on the News section of my forum.

All plugging aside, I expect to write a review of my experiences with the Amazon webstore interface once I have gotten a better feel for its expansive features. My first impression is that this shop setup is not for beginners. There’s a bit of a learning curve with all it’s features, not to mention a great deal of setting up you have to have as a business to even be eligible to use the Amazon format.

Till next time, Bat fans!

A Halo and an Attitude WIP

Continuing my pattern of more art sharing, here’s the progress on the sketch I showed you last entry. Ms. Tude is coming along nicely and despite her small size at 5×7 inches, she’s holding her own.

For this image I’m testing out the new illustration board from Strathmore called the 500 Series Wet Media Board, which has been sized specifically to suit the needs of wet media. I’ve always had a problem with the paint drying too fast or the surface not absorbing enough hue to make such effects like salt blooms work consistently on regular cold press illustration board. I’ve also had issues with the vibrancy of colors being somewhat less brilliant than watercolor paper. I’m happy to report this new board seems more absorbent-friendly. I’ve been abusing it with wet-in-wet techniques and salt crystals without much sign of buckling or problems with color vibrancy.

The layering continues and I’ll be back next entry with the completed painting and the final verdict on the wet media board.

A Halo and an Attitude WIP

Continuing my pattern of more art sharing, here’s the progress on the sketch I showed you last entry. Ms. Tude is coming along nicely and despite her small size at 5×7 inches, she’s holding her own.

For this image I’m testing out the new illustration board from Strathmore called the 500 Series Wet Media Board, which has been sized specifically to suit the needs of wet media. I’ve always had a problem with the paint drying too fast or the surface not absorbing enough hue to make such effects like salt blooms work consistently on regular cold press illustration board. I’ve also had issues with the vibrancy of colors being somewhat less brilliant than watercolor paper. I’m happy to report this new board seems more absorbent-friendly. I’ve been abusing it with wet-in-wet techniques and salt crystals without much sign of buckling or problems with color vibrancy.

The layering continues and I’ll be back next entry with the completed painting and the final verdict on the wet media board.

Sketch Dump – Halos

Thought you guys might enjoy a sneak peek into things I’m working on plus art!

This week, the topic of my project is the halo. Halo comes from the Latin halōs or nimbus, meaning cloud, round, circle, sun, and moon. While the Greek origination meant threshing floor. In modern language, it has evolved to interchangeably act as both a verb and a noun, meaning to surround, or to give an atmosphere of sanctity, alongside other various meteorological implications.

As for art, the representations of halos seem endless in variety, from the solid metallic rings in medieval paintings to the more subtle implied halos formed by light in modern works. In exploring this topic, I’ve come to realize that halos are far more than the stereotypical golden ring that comes standard issue with harp. One can even go as far as to examine the ornate decorations of Buddhist mandalas for halo inspiration. Many divine beings are surrounded by a decorative accent, or halo, across the art of many cultures.

And now the promised art!

This first sketch is a combination of spot illustrations of various types of halos, from the implied to the pattern-inspired barbed wire one. The star halo you see was inspired by art nouveau, which was itself inspired similarly by religious imagery depicting the Lady of the Apocalypse, who was symbolized by the figure of Mary crowned by 12 stars. As you can see, the possibilities for halos are limited only by our imagination!

Next is a little painting I’ll be working on to illustrate how to create a halo from radiating lines. She was really only meant to be a minor character illustrated for this purpose, but I’ve fallen in love with her attitude.

My musical inspiration for this topic was Noose by A Perfect Circle. Some inspirational lyrics for you. (I’m morbid, I know):

With heaven’s help
You’ve cast your demons out
And not to pull your halo down
Around your neck and tug you off your cloud
But I’m more than just a little curious
How you’re plannin’ to go about makin’ your amends
To the dead

Stay tuned for the next post where I’ll have a few more random factoids and painting progress to show! I hope you have enjoyed this interlude of artistic meandering.

PS
I find it funny that the scientific definition of ‘halo’ as a prefix stands for salt or sea. It really mixes up the mental images for a halo in a weird way!