Category: Blog Posts

Personal Update: Birthday Contemplation, Death of the Art Career?

I celebrated my 43rd birthday this past Nov 7th! Another jog around the sun has made me more contemplative than ever.

To be quite honest, it’s been a rough year for my husband and I. Things have been extra stressful ever since my husband was laid off in February of this year. We thought surely he’d pick up work within a few of months, but the extreme layoffs in upper level tech have meant crickets for job opportunities.

This reality has made the future of my art career an uncertain one. We simply cannot survive off of my income and savings alone, with the art industry looking as bleak as ever for so many reasons (AI art, inflation, layoffs, the list goes on). I’ve returned to accepting freelance work and am trying to return to working conventions, but I’ve also met crickets so far and shows take the risky investment of table fees, not to mention the health risks that made me quit cons in the first place.

The long of the short of it is that if by the end of this year, if our situation doesn’t change, I’ll be re-assessing this career path (after 10+ years of working at it) and likely pivoting into a different industry altogether.

This place may become even more quiet as my pace slows down to accomodate my schedule as I study to earn my A+ cert and move into more consistent helpdesk work that I can do remotely since we share one car.

January 2025 will be the deadline for me to decide what to do as we near the annivesary of a whole year of unemployment for my husband. If anyone is looking for Technical Account Managers or Sys Admins, drop me a DM!

We have a couple of months before that dreaded deadline…so let us hope against hope that things start looking up!

A Little Bit of Happiness 

Thankfully this post isn’t all doom and gloom. On my birthday, I was so blessed that even with all this extreme stress, my family went the extra mile to help me feel special with a ramen lunch at a new place that just opened up nearby, cookies and cream mousse cake, an art book, and a video game I had been looking forward to for years (Dragon Age Veilguard!).

Even with all of this going on, I’m so lucky and loved! Where there is ramen, there is always room for happiness.

(I made my old Shadowrun character, Aurora, into a sarcastic Elf who loves to smash things. It’s been therapuetic to play her right now.)

As hopeless as the post no doubt sounds, I’m never going to stop making art. There are too many stories I want to tell and cool characters I want to draw! Hopefully, I can keep on sharing that journey with you all, even at a glacial pace.

No matter what happens in this next year of life, I want to thank everyone, old and new, who has stuck with me here or moved through my life at various times to give me hope and succor. The little bits of support have meant the world!

Much love, friends. Stay inspired and keep up hope! There are still good things and people in this world.

<3 Ang

Project Status: CASSIEL’S SERVANT Art To-Do List

I wanted to check-in as I’ve been silent for a little while thanks to a busy, busy month. I’ve been off toiling away on the Exalted Art Challenge, launching my 2025 Birthstone Goddesses Calendars, and finishing up my readthrough of CASSIEL’S SERVANT so I can finally approach the much-anticipated task of creating my own cover for it!

Art To-Do List

The ultimate goal for my Patreon’s focus right now is to draw cool art for books I love, while also making cool stuff for my Illustration portfolio. With that in mind, here’s what I’m hoping to achieve for CASSIEL’S SERVANT:

  • A Variant Wraparound Book Cover – (Planning)

  • Two Full Page Interior Illustrations – (Planning)

  • An Enamel Pin – (Sketched)

  • Sticker Designs Using the ‘rejected’ pin designs – (Sketched)

I absolutely adore the illustration work I’ve seen for special editions of books like Tran Nguyen’s work on the Subterranean Press editions of Phedre’s trilogy, which included a custom wraparound cover and interior illustrations in a gorgeous tome signed by the author.

Tran’s cover of KUSHIEL’S AVATAR from Subterranean Press.

The interior illustrations of KUSHIEL’S DART from Subterranean Press by Tran Nguyen

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These kinds of illustrated editions always get me so excited and inspired! I had to try doing this for myself and figured I’d take you all along for the ride. I’m nowhere near as amazing as Tran, but I hope I can bring something unique and full of passion for the story to my own renditions of art for CASSIEL’S SERVANT.

My Final Thoughts on CASSIEL’S SERVANT

I went in expecting a re-tread of KUSHIEL’S DART, which is one of the much-beloved Fantasy classics I hold sacred as a formative inspiration. I wasn’t sure we could learn much from a retelling of DART, but I am so happy to be proven wrong! Joscelin’s meditation on his religious upbringing, his tactical POV, and unique perspective made for an intriguing journey and fresh perspective.

For my full final thoughts on CASSIEL’S SERVANT, as well as a chapter by chapter discussion of my journey through the book, check out the Book Club thread on my Discord server here!

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Now, it’s time for me to get busy planning and sketching! In the meanwhile, I’d love to hear what illustrated editions you like best? NAME OF THE WIND also has a gorgeous edition by artist, Dan Dos Santos, if you haven’t seen it!

Project Status: Birthstone Goddesses – New Calendars Launch!

Hoo boy, who has an ADHD Muse this month because they’ve been running between projects that got delayed and overlapped with other planned projects? (Hint, it me!). The Birthstone Goddesses, which were this Patreon’s previous theme, still had a lot to give, especially because they were specifically created to make calendars!

After much blood, sweat, and tears, I’ve refreshed the first calendar with 2025’s dates/holidays, as well as created two NEW calendars featuring the Masquerade, Little Gems, and Visage collections from the Birthstone Goddesses series!

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I’ve filmed a little tour of all three you can watch here. Give it a watch and let me know which calendar you’ll choose!

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I’m printing these calendars with a printing partner so that any profits made from them will directly support the artist. There is no publisher as a middle man, so getting one of these lovelies means you’re directly supporting me!

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Find them in my shop here.

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This launch wraps up the final FINAL chapter of the Birthstone Goddesses. I hope to still revisit them for an art book, gift bundles, etc at a later time, but for now, I’m just about done with what I had endeavored to achieve with them as a body of work.

Thanks for all of you who were here throughout that years-long adventure! Your support over that time really warmed my heart and kept my husband and myself going.

Enjoy the loveliness and may my shining gals guide your year with inspiration and elegance! Maybe we’ll see them again someday once my muse circles back around to future gemstone-themed offerings.

– Ang

“Cassiel’s Servant” Project Archive

[Latest Update 7-12-2026] New additions to the archive! New art of the Cassiel’s Servant Grayscale & Gold edition, as well as a matching wallpaper pack.


I wanted to give my Free Members a peek at all the art I’ve been creating inspired by “Cassiel’s Servant” from Jacqueline Carey, the story of a warrior monk’s unknowing rise to meet his divine destiny in the woman he would eventually break his oaths for.

(Above: My fan version of the cover of “Kushiel’s Dart”, the book that started the Kushiel’s Legacy series which “Cassiel’s Servant” is a part of.)

Free Art Posts

All the art I’ve shared publicly for “Cassiel’s Servant” has been attached to the top of this post for all to enjoy. You can also read more about this project as it developed in these public posts:

Cassiel’s Servant [Public Posts]

Cassiel’s Servant Patreon-Only Posts:

If you’d like to help support me while I work on this and future projects, check out the following Patrons-only posts available to all paid members at all tiers for the deep dive into my process, inspiration, and research that my free posts don’t go into.

Available to ALL paid Patrons or access the post you’re interested in individually for $3 a piece, no subscription required.

Cassiel’s Servant-Related Rewards

Watch the experimental video I made combining art and narration about Elua here, since Patreon doesn’t support video embedding within the body of posts yet. (EDIT. They now support embedding yay!)

I plan to keep sharing art for free with optional paid perks this way so you can all get the best of both worlds!

Want to join me as I book club “Cassiel’s Servant”? Hop in the book’s discussion thread on my Discord server! This server is open to the public and free to join, though my Discord also has a Patrons-only area where you can browse my Patrons-only Secret Sketchbook and more. Come hang out!

Have you finished reading “Cassiel’s Servant” yet? Are you planning to read? Or reading something else? Let me know what you’re up to, book wyrms!

– Ang

[Secret Sketchbook] CASSIEL’S SERVANT – Joscelin Concept Sketches

A Patrons-only peek at concept sketches for Joscelin, featuring weapons, armor, & more, plus photo references and design discussion.

EDIT: I added in an important note about the Cassiline sword’s design and how it might change later. More thoughts down in that section!

It’s been a minute since I was able to update this project, so I wanted to treat my faithful fans who stuck with me during the long quiet with a nice, chunky Patrons-only update! Here’s a peek at my explorations of Joscelin, the main character of Cassiel’s Servant by Jacqueline Carey, and his armaments.

I wanted to figure out some of Joscelin’s visual specifics as they may feature heavily in the fan cover I’m creating for this book, which is the ultimate goal of my Story Sketcher project. As always, I love research, so I dove headfirst into the rabbithole of medieval garb, lanolin, and clubbed hair!

Joscelin’s Appearance

First off, I had to start asking myself the question. What does Joscelin look like, anyways? He is described as someone beautiful enough to be an adept of Cereus House with the provincial charm of a Siovale noble with the classic blue eye, blonde hair, and fair complexion.

I’ve shared my rendition from years ago already here, but I never felt like I truly nailed him down in this old piece. Looking back on this first try, I wasn’t satisfied with his bland, grumpy face, his weapons were too ornate for his modest order, and I took a more ‘Hollywood Medieval Fantasy’ approach with his Cassiline clothing.

Having Joscelin’s more specific descriptions of his equipment in Cassiel’s Servant gave me the perfect opportunity to redo this concept.

Now, before I get into fan casting for his physical appearance, I know what you’re going to say. My choice is a rather unorthodox one…

…but, guys, have you seen how cut Bill Skarsgård is in Boy Kills World and The Crow?

Yes, that’s right, I’m fan casting Bill Skarsgård as our dear Joscelin! He’s a unique kind of beautiful, once I got over my “Oh help, it’s Pennywise!” feelings first. Once you see this man in action flicks, Skarsgård has the flexibility to be both intense and charming and, boy howdy, does he kick ass! He moves like an absolute martial arts pro in Boy Kills World and would suit the acrobatic physicality of Joscelin so well.

Skarsgård’s also a dead ringer for Tran Nguyen’s painting of Joscelin, which is one of my favorite artist’s renditions of this character. She captured Joscelin’s focused gaze and dedication to his ward so well! No doubt, Skarsgård will be informing my interpretation of Joscelin moving forward.

But I know this is an odd choice for some, so tell me who you all are fan casting for Joscelin in the comments?

Armaments of the Cassiline Brothers

Now the really fun part – equipment! Let’s break it down bit by bit.

(A section of my reference board for Joscelin’s Cassiline equipment. You can find more references and individual links in my Cassiel’s Servant mood board on Pinterest. Sidenote that the Metropolitan’s Museum of Art’s vast online collection proved invaluable for research, as it can be searched by time period and region and often includes photos of multiple angles of artifacts!)

The Hair

Joscelin describes the Brothers who came to recruit him as having a warrior’s club of hair at the nape of their neck because they do not cut their hair as a show of devotion to Adonai. What does ‘clubbed hair’ mean, anyways? I explored two possibilities, a folded queue inspired by 17th/18th century British soldiers that shows more of the hair versus a wrapped queue tied with laces, inspired by native american hairstyles, considering the similar belief in the sacred nature of hair.

(I also experimented with wavy hair for Joscelin, but felt the straight hair represented his reserved and tidy personality better.)  

I chose the wrapped queue because it felt more monastic to me, while the folded queue feels too fancy for a group dedicated to modesty.

The Armour

The Cassiline Brothers are described as a lightly armored unit who prize mobility so they might better protect their assigned ward. Upon Joscelin’s initiation, he describes recieving the Cassiline signature grey wool mandilion coat treated so thoroughly with lanolin that it is both waterproof and extremely soft. This shirt also falls below the knee and is sleeveless for a full round of motion. This description blew up my old image featuring lots of leather and doeskin. (Everyone looks sexy in leather, okay??)

If you were like me upon reading and had no idea what ‘mandilion’ or ‘lanolin’ means, a mandilion is a style of pullover jacket open on the sides from the 16th century. In true Fantasy fashion, Cassilines have a unique custom tailor cut that’s secret to their sect’s makers, so I had a little fun with the lines of this garment. Lanolin is the secretion that sheeps make that keeps their wool fluffy and clean in nature. The More You Know!

(Mandilion coats from Jacques de Gheyn and Academie de l’Espée by Gérard Thibault d’Anvers, respectively. The upside down Y shape of the top right image heavily influenced the cut of Joscelin’s jacket.)

Beneath Joscelin’s coat, there’s also chainmail, and beneath that is no doubt an undershirt because nobody wants chainmail pulling their body hair or chaffing. Trust the word of this former cosplayer.

The Armaments

Cassiline Brothers have some really cool kit! They are known for their twin daggers, steel vambraces, and a sword strapped to their backs which is drawn only in combat with the intent to kill.

I kept their weapon designs simple and elegant taking inspiration from 15th century French gothic swords.

I did allow myself one specific artistic liberty not described at all by Carey in the books so far and that was the idea that Cassiline Brothers have a flame motif etched into their swords which pays homage to the flaming sword of the archangel Cassiel, the central symbolic figure of their order.

This is all me and not technically book-accurate, but I couldn’t shake the thought once it occurred to me that the single remotely ornate thing you will see of a Cassiline’s is the sword they draw before someone dies. The poetry of that to an archangel’s fateful appearance is just too perfect for me to exclude.

[EDIT 8/31/2024]: I may end up dropping the etched flames in a later iteration if this is perhaps too close to rendering a graven image, which might be anathema for Cassilines as well because of their religious similarity to Judaism, which does not permit graven images. I’m torn on whether this would be considered idolatry if it is not meant to portray Cassiel directly, but to honor the fire, as I recall the priests of the archangel Kushiel in the first novel also using masks and whips to honor Kushiel. Feel free to chime in on this in the comments, book fans who are more well read on this topic!

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What is your favorite rendition of Joscelin? I’d love to see if you want to share in comments! Let me know how my rendition holds up. Moving forward, these will be the design cues I’ll be following, though we shall see if anything changes my mind later. The process of illustration can always surprise you with unexpected revelations!

Now it’s on to reading the rest of Cassiel’s Servant and seeing what other art pops out along the way.

– Ang

Reminders:

  • I’m currently book-clubbing Cassiel’s Servant in my Discord server! I post my thoughts on the story, art thoughts, etc. there. Feel free to join in the discussion!

  • My Discord server is also open to everyone, with a private area for Patrons! Patrons get special access to the Ask Me Anything channel, among other perks. Come ask me anything! Learn how to link your Discord to Patreon accounts here.

Art Fight 2024 Collection

(Patrons are getting an early peek at this vid before it goes live elsewhere. Enjoy!) The dust has settled and 2024’s Art Fight has ended! It’s always a fun opportunity to practice my skills and draw some unexpected characters, all while bringing a smile to another artist’s face, which is my favorite part of the experience!

(Don’t remember what Art Fight is about? See my 2023 wrap-up which was my first experience in participating and includes an introduction to the event and how it works. The tl;dr is it’s an event where artists trade art of their characters and ‘battle’ in teams.)

My Attacks for 2024

I had a ton of fun this year trying to keep my style loose and energetic. All of them were rendered in Procreate on the ipad, which seems to be my main digital painting tool of choice these days.

Scissors for AnnaCoryKulikova

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Zhenlin for MissSunnySweden

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The Seraph of Promised Silence for Hamsandlich

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Kai for CherryFlash

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Valerian for DungeonDelves

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Ray for Viday

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Goku for Erdending

(My first time drawing a monkey and they have such fun anatomy quirks!) 

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Attacks on Me

Here are the Attacks featuring my characters by other talented artists participating in Art Fight this year!

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Aurora by AnnaCoryKulikova

 

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Aurora by Erdending

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Rabs by MissSunnySweden

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The Crucified Dreamer by DungeonDelves

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The Crucified Dreamer by Viday

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The Crucified Dreamer by CherryFlash

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Kalara by Hamsandlich

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Don’t forget to check out the video at the top of this post for timelapses of how I created my pieces. If you’re an artist who needs a pick-me-up or to work through art block, I highly suggest this event! It’s satisfying to do an activity that’s lighthearted with no other lofty aim beyond making another artist happy and drawing some cool characters.

And now to return to our regularly scheduled programs!

The Usual Reminders

[Cover Art & Sketches] Revisiting “Kushiel’s Dart “

Now that I’m about to enter the part of the CASSIEL’S SERVANT novel that crosses over into the events of KUSHIEL’S DART, I wanted to revisit some of the work I created for DART during my first time creating my own cover art and sketch explorations for a novel.

I’ve already shared a deep dive into the development of DART’s cover, but I wanted to revisit some of the old character sketches here as well. Enjoy a trip down memory lane, as these were done 10 years ago!

 LEFT: My very first try at drawing Joscelin! Inspired by his first meeting with Phedre, the main character of DART. Now that I’m reading CASSIEL’S SERVANT, I’ve learned why he was so cranky at the time. I love this old design, but I may simplify the wrappings on the sword and daggers even more to emphasize the Cassiline devotion to utilitarianism. I’ll be exploring equipment concepts in a new post soon.

RIGHT: Grainne, one of the twin Lords of the Dalriada, Gaelic-inspired warriors we meet in DART. I’m amused that even back then, graphite felt suiting for drawing art for this world.

An assortment of characters we meet early on in DART. Looking back on this, I feel like I very much had the distinguished actress, Maggie Smith, in mind when envisioning the discerning Dowayne of Cereus House.

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Now, back to reading with me and teaching myself new video editing software so I can keep bringing you fun storytelling snippets like my recent try at narrating Elua’s origin myth  from SERVANT that was shared on my socials.

Did you all enjoy this audio+visual format for Elua’s sketch? It was a lot of fun for me to make and I hope to explore more narrative imagery in this fashion.

More art soon!

– Ang

Ang Plays Kunitsu-Gami: Path of the Goddess, Dancing with Demons!

(If the above embed ever breaks, you can watch my stream recording here.)

Dusting off my Twitch channel to play games I find artistically inspiring! Check out my first impressoin of Kunitsu-Gami: Path of the Goddess, a new release from Capcom featuring a dancing shrine maiden, her faithful guardian, a corrupted sacred mountain, and a beautiful Japanese-inspired aesthetic.

I thoroughly enjoyed my time with it! Hope to stream more art and games in the future.