Author: Angela S.

My Portfolio Building Homework Part 4a

Sisyphus – the story of my life.

Once again, I am inspired by The ArtOrder’s latest portfolio-building exercise and what I’ve learned lately about my work, my regrets, and my future as an artist.

All of my art supplies are in boxes right now and I am here sitting on the verge of a big change in my life.  I’m moving to a new area with my significant other as well as taking the first steps to realizing a strategy I have been ruminating on to re-invent my art and myself.

All of this pondering on who I am and where I’m going has me realizing that there is little divide between who I want to be as an artist and what I want to be doing as a career.  I’ve looked back on my own work and realized that I’ve only started painting the things I want to paint in this past year.  I’ve made due in the past by trying to fit my art into a box (the fine art box, the licensing box, etc. etc.) just so I can be doing art and making money, ANY kind of money, so I could call myself ‘successful’ at this livelihood as long as I’m doing something creative.   My approach to being successful has been completely backwards.

I’ve been struggling in my career as an artist, unable to find a focus that I felt fit me 100% or to achieve the kind of monetary success I want.  It’s taken experimentation, a good deal of floundering with jobs I grew bored with, and a great sense of failure that I’ve had to overcome to get to this point.  I’ve struggled with the advice from others that “Not every job is going to be interesting so you need to compromise to pay the bills”.  This is true to an extent, but I realize now that if I’m bored with my work 90% of the time, there are far easier ways to be bored (and get paid better) than stagnating in a field of art that is more destructive to my drive in life than useful.

I’m sacrificing a lot to be an artist and I think where I end up in this career should justify the hardships of pursuing it, not just let me ‘settle’ because I’m doing something creative, therefore I should be happy.  I need more than monetary success, I want Mastery.  From every Master I have had the pleasure of meeting lately, this has been the constant secret ingredient. Their passion has led them to the top of their game and to monetary success.  Companies seek them out because they show drive to mastery, professionalism, and focused specialization. And by specialization, I mean that art directors think “I’ll hire this artist because I know them to be very good at drawing X thing, which fits my project perfectly!”  When you’re a jack of all trades, nobody can really identify anything with you, or they identify the *wrong* thing with you (ie. I think I’m better known for my leather masks now than my actual paintings. Funny how that worked out!)

Getting to know myself better as well as asking myself some tough questions in the Painting Drama class and the ArtOrder’s portfolio-building series have really peeled away a film of indecisiveness that I have been blinded with for a long time.  It’s no coincidence to me that both of these places didn’t jump right into ‘what are your technical skills like’ at the beginning of the program.  Instead, the very first thing you do in both is to ask intensely internal questions.

Who are you?  What are you passionate about?  Where might your passions fit in to the art industry?

It’s no wonder Jon calls this exercise “The Insanity Loop” where we do the same thing the same way and get the same results.  How many times have I written in this journal that I’ve formulated a strategy to enter a particular field of art, only to find what I am trying to do wasn’t right for me after all and then I am sent right back to square one where I’m not getting any of the kind of work I want?

The answer for me has been a simple one.  I am not presenting the kind of art I want to be doing, rather I’m maintaining a status quo of doing the work that keeps my head above water. True, we all have to pay bills, but again, I’ve reached this breaking point where I realize I could be working at a different profession and make more than I’m making now with art.  The pure act of creating is not enough to maintain my happiness and well-being in life.  The mental strain of not being successful at what I’m doing with my art or actually painting the kind of work I want to paint has made me realize that it’s make or break time.

I need to aim higher than I am and figure out a better strategy than ‘do art and they will come’. I needed specific strategic planning and that is what I am finally doing by asking the tough questions I wasn’t asking before, or accepting the answers that I was afraid to act on for lack of my own confidence.

Apparently it’s been a rather cathartic couple of months for me!  I finally feel I’m on the right path in my career.  I’ve got a strategy to paint the types of things I have always wanted to paint and I am far more confident that this simple baby step forward will help advance my career in ways that mere blind enthusiasm hasn’t in the past.  It’s taken this turning of a harsh lens inward to realize what I’ve been doing wrong.

I hope this rambling has proven useful to someone else out there who might be trying to figure themselves and their goal out.  A lot of us start out with such a broad expectation of ‘I’m going to draw and get paid for it!’ but then let our experimental nature and broad artistic interests distract us from applying a pointed strategic approach to anything.  Another important lesson I have learned recently is that there is a difference between an interest and a passion.  A passion is what my career will be.  An interest is where I will spend my time having fun without the worry of judgements or money.

Jon’s portfolio-building series has been one strategizing method which has worked for me.  Maybe it will work for you too?  I’d love to hear your thoughts and feelings in comments, if you’ve taken on this exercise for yourself.  Share with me!  I don’t want to be the only one rambling here.

My Portfolio Building Homework – Part 4

I’m feeling hyped after my last assignment where I formulated a strategy to take on the mighty portfolio beast.  But like anyone at the mouth of the dragon’s cave, I’m acknowledging a few of the fears that have kept me from realizing my action plans in the past.  Fortunately for me, that’s exactly what this week’s homework is all about!

(Don’t forget to read Jon’s exercise before reading my homework so you aren’t missing any of the great advice on facing our fears.)

Home Work Assignment:
• Look back over your strategy and plan and see in which ways you can improve them, and use them to set you up for success.
• Look at the roadblocks that you have put in your way in the past, or are currently putting in your way, and share them with the community so that we can all learn from them.

Improvements to the Plan

I realize after looking at my portfolio action plan that the dates I set were a bit hazy, as far as providing me with specific goals to focus on.  So I chose to break each image down to two dates, one for the sketch draft deadline and the second for the final draft.  This way I have until the sketch deadline to get all my ideation, thumbnailing, and studies done for each piece.  Then I have until the final deadline to refine till my heart’s content.  I find breaking the plan into time phases like this keeps me from dwelling too long in the idea and research part, which is a really bad habit of mine.  I tend to get very caught up in having the perfect idea before I ever put pencil to paper.
I’m also debating adding more paintings to the list. I thought better of it, however, because I notice one of my bad habits is to overload myself with projects until I get overwhelmed and just give up on them, especially before a big event.  More than once I’ve stressed myself out before big selling events like DragonCon by trying to go above and beyond for my gallery, which turned into many frustrated nights of staying up late to meet the incredibly unrealistic goals I set for myself.

My Roadblocks

Some mentioned in my improvements above, but here’s a quick rundown of my most common roadblocks.  Let’s face it, guys. I’ve made portfolio lists in the past here in my journal and haven’t exactly realized all of them.  Apparently I am my own worst enemy, as most artists are!
Overloading myself with projects and artistic distractions. 
(Solution:  Start simple, stupid! Don’t try to do too much at once. Focus on one painting at a time.  Minimize other projects that are just for fun.  Start with less paintings and add more if it feels I have more time.  I had originally planned eight paintings and shaved that down to four.)

Being unable to keep focus due to outside forces, like deadlines for my other job, distracting people, unorganized creative work area, etc. 
(Solution:  Stop trying to outdo every turnaround time at work, learn how to minimize distractions by speaking up about them and setting boundaries, keep my art desk clean of the piles of junk from other job that keep me from being exciting about working there when I sit down.)

Feeling overwhelmed and rushed by the fact that I am practically starting over for this portfolio. None of my past work fits and I feel like I am back at square one with my body of work and that nothing will be good enough from this point on. Worse, I simply don’t have enough time to catch up with the rest of the industry and younger artists who are already ahead of me!
(Solution: Realize that life isn’t over. I’m still young enough to realize my goals.  Slow down and take this one painting at a time.  Realize that even though I’m starting over with relevant pieces, I still have many skills under my belt from my past body of work.  Everything worth doing takes time and other artists who have ‘made it’ also put in their dues as far as practicing, creating great work, and meeting rejection along the way before finding their path.)

Feeling too intimidated by technical aspects to feel confident about painting the pieces.  For example, the idea of doing a piece with multiple figures is intimidating because I don’t do them often and I can’t afford to pay models to pose for me so I can draw them as accurately as possible.  
(Solution:  Do the best I can and try to come up with alternate solutions, like taking photos of a single model separately and photomanip them together. Maybe find images on stock searches.  Do studies in the areas that I need work on before each piece so that I can build some confidence with the skills I feel I don’t have.)
I’m hopeful that now that I’ve sat down and put a face to my fears that they become less scary.  All that’s left now is ACTION!  I am ready for this dragon, baby!

My Portfolio Building Homework – Part 3

The last assignment was a tough one where I dealt with my ‘self-assessment’ and realized half of what I currently have in my portfolio is not even in my area of interest, personally or professionally.

The next entry in the Portfolio Building series deals with formulating a strategy.  Be sure to read Jon’s original post before reading my homework, else you’re only getting half the battle!

Homework Assignment:
• Identify your “worst Image”, and share what you learned from identifying the image with someone.
• Create your “strategy” using my example as a guide
• Share what you learned about yourself, the process, or the homework with someone

My Worst Image

I still love you, Kana!
Using my portfolio that was mentioned in part 1, my worst image has to be Dragon Prince.  It’s not bad, technically, but it also doesn’t really create any kind of narrative within the piece.  My reasoning for including it the first time was part of a scattershot strategy to include RPG interior black and white images with illustration in a Single Portfolio to Rule Them All.  (Note to self: bad strategy).
I also noticed during both portfolio reviews that the reviewers passed over this image very quickly, as if they were bored by the sight of it.  It also has nothing to do with my target market of book cover illustration.
He is just kind of there…looking pretty with swords.  Perhaps if he were interacting more thoughtfully with a target?  Perhaps if he were placed in a more interesting setting to show some hint of his world to create some interest?  What story is he trying to tell? (or fellow PD students, what is the About?)  What questions are the viewer asking themselves about him? None, because he’s just there with swords with nothing to challenge him, visually or compositionally.
Like many of my pieces in this portfolio, it is one central character who is not interacting with their environment or any other characters. I have a bad habit of being afraid to venture into images with grander scales of action and multiple figures.  It is true some book covers have successful images with just one character, but there is always some element that draws us in, creates visual tension, and gets us asking “why”, like Jason Chan’s King of Thorns, for example.  

I instantly want to know “Why are all those people dead?” “How did he survive whatever battle just happened?”  “Why does he look so damned pimptastic?”  “What is that thing in his hand that looks magical and important?”

In fact, all of the covers for Lawrence’s trilogy achieve what I believe to be a pretty successful one-character set of simply AMAZING covers that make me want to read more.

My Strategy

I chose Tor Books because many of the artists whose work I enjoy (Dan Dos Santos, Jason Chan, etc.) have worked for this company creating the kind of art I would like to be creating.  Most of the work they produce that I enjoy tell the kinds of mature and mythical stories with subversive characters I would like to be painting more of.  Specifically, I want to specialize in covers with characters, instead of the more abstract symbol covers.
I need to be creating work in the mature, character-centric, and fantasy vein, therefore I need to create images with the following:
  • Engaging characters in covers. (Preference to tattoos, mythic themes, capable females, swashbuckling males, and roguish figures, all which are luckily trending and marketable right now!)
  • Easily readable compositions with areas blocked off for text, but that still feel ‘finished’ without the text.
  • Semi-realistic style, which suits more dark and mature fantasy stories.

Specific Goals List (The Short Version)

You can view The Long Version for specific image briefs, deadlines, etc.

I am narrowing my specific paintings to character-centric fantasy book covers.  Starting with a realistic set of FOUR paintings, which gives me seven months starting in February till August, when I will be attending Illuxcon shortly after.  That’s nearly two months per image, which should be plenty of time!

1.  Kushiel’s Dart Cover – Creating my own rendition of the cover of one of my favorite fantasy novels.  Covers meets my need for tattooed AND elegant ladies in a decadent mature fantasy setting.
2.  Song of Exile (Ramah Cover) – A tentative cover from my own original fantasy story featuring Ramah, an exiled warrior prince.  This would allow me to show a warrior from a desert setting for added portfolio variety.
3.  Song of Exile (Melakim Cover) – A tentative cover from the same setting as Ramah, except featuring my demon-hunting, vampire slaying tattooed Hunter, Melakim.  She would fill my quota of capable female, gritty action scene, the challenge of multiple figures, AND swashbuckling figure.
4.  Persephone Cover – To cover my need for mythic.  I plan to revamp my old Persephone Queen of the Underworld painting with a more narrative spin.

What I Learned:  

I didn’t learn anything new, rather, I learned more specifically what I’ve always known.  I had never been quite sure what it was that I could be drawing that made an image not just a portrait, but a book cover, which fulfills very different needs than a character simply existing in space (which is what my current portfolio is riddled with).

This exercise also got me thinking more specifically about what paintings I could put in my portfolio that aren’t just what I really enjoy drawing, but also which show that I am capable of a wider variety of subject matter beyond graceful tattooed winged women, which is what I am currently known for.

I didn’t have a strategy for the book cover industry yet so this was exceedingly helpful and much more focused than my previous attempt at putting together a strategy for the art card CCG industry.

So far, so good! The strategy is there, but can I bring it into reality???  I suppose we’ll find out!

Back to Part 1
Back to Part 2
On to Part 4 (coming soon)

My Portfolio Building Homework – Part 2

Continuing my portfolio building journey from TheArtOrder’s blog series.  The last assignment asked me to think deeply about what my portfolio was currently comprised of. The next in the series is the self-assessment and asking the tough questions.

Don’t forget to read Jon’s original post before reading my homework assignments here so that they make sense!  Otherwise, you are only getting half the lesson.

Question #1   What are you passionate about?


Imaginative realism, high fantasy, alternate history, world mythology, folklore, subversive characters, art nouveau.

Question #2   What do you want to bring forth in the world?


Paintings and stories about my favorite kinds of mythical and subversive figures.

Question #3   Who do you want to be in your life?

I want to be the type of person who is completely immersed in their passions because I firmly believe that if I am not living a life that does not fulfill my inspiration and passion for art that I am unfulfilled, emotionally.  

I need to create and I do not want this act of creation of art, writing, etc. to be a small part of my life.  I want it to BE my life and that is the type of person I want to be.  When I die, I want to be happy that I was true to myself and my drive to create.
Question #4   Where do you derive your inspiration?


Everywhere, culture, human nature, flora and fauna, movies, stories, video games, folklore.  It is my job to make the connections between any and all things, no matter how mundane they might be.

Questions #5   Who do you want to be for others?


I want to be the person they turn to for tales of the imaginative, immersive, and elegant variety.

Question #6   What is your favorite content/subject?


The content I enjoy depicting the most range from roguish character types, characters who walk between the lines of morality, who charm us with their edge of mystery, to the mythic archetypes present in the subtle magic of folklore, particularly figures who visit the underworld and otherworldly realms.  

I also have an affinity for angelic and faerie figures who represent an otherworldly beauty and mystical presence.  I am also fond of illustrations of characters at the passionate partings and meetings that drive their stories, usually tragic or romantic in nature.

Question #7   What is your favorite medium?


Color pencil is still my favorite even though I am trying to work more digitally.  I also enjoy the mix of the luminous translucency of watercolor with the texture and precision of color pencil.

Question #8   Who is your favorite painter/illustrator?


It’s so hard to choose when there are so many illustrators I admire!  If I have to choose just one, it would be John William Waterhouse because of his powerful storytelling, mastery of texture, and his whimsical mythic subject matter. He paints the subject matter I want to paint with the kind of mastery over texture and atmosphere I wish I had.

Question #9   What is your favorite texture, piece of anatomy, basic shape, color to paint?


I enjoy the textures of flowing satin cloth, graceful necks, and jewel tones.

Question #10   What do you get out of painting?

When I successfully create a painting that I feel gets a viewer interested in learning more about that character or story, I get a great sense of joy and accomplishment out of their need to know more.  If they are an artist and want to create more art after viewing my paintings, I consider this the highest form of joy.

Question #11   What are your strengths in creative thinking, drawing, painting, problems solving, color theory, composition, perspective, visual narrative, and design?

My strengths lie in creating memorable color schemes and colorful characters.  I am particularly strong in depicting character expressions and faces.  I have a great love of diving into character personalities and discovering what makes them tick, which in turn feeds into my problem-solving, as far as painting these characters in a scene.
Question #12 What are your weaknesses in creative thinking, drawing, painting, problems solving, color theory, composition, perspective, visual narrative, and design?


My work lacks the quality of atmosphere and realistic lighting that would make it truly immersive. While my color choices are generally strong, I have a problem altering these colors to create various moods in my pieces.  All my pieces generally read as the same ‘serene’ atmosphere, which leads to a lack of variety, overall.  

My compositional structure is usually static and uninteresting.  I have trouble populating my backgrounds with interesting objects, architecture, and other things that would give them a truly narrative quality.

Question #13   Pick one company or product that you want to work on. (We’ll come back to this, so chose wisely).


Tor Books.

Question #14   What specific skills are REQUIRED to acquire work with the company or product you identified in #13, and what levels of proficiency are required in those skills?


The ability to create an image that would inspire a reader to want to learn more, and therefore buy the book, product, etc.  One must be a master at composition for this enticement to work.

Question #15   How do your skills align with the company or product you chose in #13?


They don’t.  The lack of immersion in my pieces really makes them too weak to carry a narrative or have the visual impact the book covers at Tor require.

Question #16   What is the skill that needs to be a priority for development to attain your goal of working with the company or product chosen?


Creating interesting and provocative narratives in my work.

Keeping in mind the company or product that you chose in #13:

Question #17   What specific problem does your company or product need solved visually?


They need to entice people to buy a book or product with just ONE image.

Question #18   What design challenges need to be solved visually?

Characters (and their situations) need to be clear and interesting.  Colors need to be striking.  Compositions need to allow for all of this action, while still having room for text which does not clutter the entire painting.
Question #19   What issues of  “user experience” need to be solved visually?


Prospective readers of the Tor Books brand need to be able to instantly identify an interesting book from a sea of other books.  They need to be instantly fascinated by the narrative of the cover and to have their desperation to learn more to be so bad that they must buy the book to find out the whole story.

Question #20   What one image in your portfolio shows that:
• you have ALL the skills required
• you have the level of skill proficiency for all skills required
• you understand the problems that needed to be visually solved
• you can do the job better than an artist they are currently working with

I don’t think I have any one image that asserts all of these skills.  The closest one would be Blacksent: Book of the Umbra.  



It’s an old piece that’s not a part of my current portfolio and there are several things wrong with the anatomy, perspective, and atmospheric mood, but it’s the only piece in my body of work that gets the viewer asking ‘why?’.  Why are those characters so distant and seemingly helpless?  Why is the main character so distraught?  A pity this piece is so dated now, or it would be in my portfolio.  It was the first book cover I ever created.

Personal Revelations:  

Just one.  I need to do MORE work!  Looking at my body of work, I hardly have anything that even lines up with what I list as my inspirations or even what I enjoy drawing.  For as much as I am passionate about characters and storytelling, I have few pieces that depict the kinds of things I enjoy drawing OR want to get hired to draw.I think at some point I was trying to focus my career on drawing what other people wanted me to draw, pretty things that looked good on lunchboxes and journals so that I could get paid and still live as an artist.  

It hasn’t been until recent years that I’ve had time to analyze the various professions and realize that my passions and interests line up more firmly with book cover illustration and character design.  My previous attempts to get into licensing only left me feeling bored and unfulfilled.

I’ve already come to this revelation in the past, but this self-assessment only cements my dedication to this new direction!

Back to Part 1
On to Part 3

My Portfolio Building Homework – Part 1

I remember back in college we had a class called Professional Practices where we were taught to take the best of our classwork and throw it all together in a portfolio to present to the world in hopes of getting work. For years, I presented my portfolio this way, meeting rejection every time. Little did I know, this strategy of throwing in everything is exactly what I wasn’t supposed to do.

As an art director, Jon Schindehette teaches us in his blog series on portfolio building that a portfolio should be a unique statement made especially to speak to the one you’re presenting it to. It makes a simple sort of sense realizing that companies would want to see work they’d want to hire you for, rather than ‘that thing you painted that was pretty cool that has nothing to do with their brand’. Why it took me so long to realize this, I’ll never know.

I’ve decided to write about my experiences with Jon’s portfolio building class series here in a little series of my own exploring my journey with his prompts.

What is a Portfolio?

Assignment 1
Pull out your portfolio and mentally note every image that
• Fulfilled a list
• Came from your past
• Came from a job
Note how many images are left in your portfolio, and share it with the rest of the readers.

My Portfolio (As Presented at DragonCon 2012)

– The Lotus Dancer (2012)
– DND Nouveau (2011, private commission)
– The Gift Giver (2011)
– Archangel Uriel (2008)
– Holiday Nouveau (2007)
– Night Blooming (2009, for Angelic Visions)
– Glimpse of Eden (2010, for Angelic Visions)
– Dragon Prince (2011)
– Geisha and Chrysanthemums (2011, tattoo commission)
– Samurai and Koi (2011, tattoo commission)
– Meditation on the Rose (2010, for Angelic Visions)
– Forgotten Muse (2007)

My Revelations

In the end, I’m left with only FIVE total pieces.  Of these five, only three of them are even remotely in the area of book covers and art card work.  The verdict? I need more work…and badly! And not only more in quantity, but more thematically in my areas of interest.

Admittedly, I cheated leaving Lotus Dancer in since she was from my Fake Art Cards list, but I don’t find this list necessarily destructive, as it is specifically targeted to the art card market.  We’ll see if the later exercises in this series convince me I was correct in letting her stay!

I also disagree that no old pieces should go in a portfolio, especially if those pieces continue to show a relevant level of technical expertise and your area of pursuant interest.  However, for the purposes of this exercise, anything that was over 3 years old was crossed out.

So more than half my portfolio is shot!  Onwards to discover what exactly I can do about this disturbing predicament!

On to Part 2!

My Top Ten Posts of 2012

Hard to believe we’re finally in 2013!  It sounds so futuristic. I remember when Scifi movies would say ‘In the year 2015’ and it would sound so far, far away!  Well now here we are and it’s the 4th year in operation for this little art corner of mine on the internet.  I thought I’d continue the tradition of rounding up the most popular posts of the year every time we ring in a new year.  I calculated popularity by seeing which posts got the most views in Google Analytics.
Have a rundown of my art from 2012, while we’re here!
Yay! Images make my text posts less boring.

1. Review: Noah Bradley’s The Art of Freelancing

This was my very positive reaction to Noah Bradley’s helpful and revealing video about what it takes to be a successful freelance artist. It is not a motivational video. It is pure facts and the truths of this business. Worth every penny paid and I’ve gotten some of the best advice from other freelancers in Noah’s Facebook group, which is only accessible to others who have bought this video.

A wonderful dialog between myself and other artists discussing my personal health issues and other issues common to artists, including weight gain, neck aches, etc. Some great advice shared in comments, all around!
An in-depth look at the creative thought process and info gathering that went into my painting, Persephone Queen of the Underworld.
A review of Stephanie Pui-Mun Law’s beautiful and inspiring compilation dedicated the Minors in her Tarot deck and why I thought it worth having in any artist’s collection.
My first ever Critique Corner post! I hope people will send me more to crit, as they are quite good practice for me.
A moment of angst and reflection on my part. I talked about everything I wish I had known before I got into this biz in hopes that it might help you guys out.
My experience in shopping for that holy grail of art tools, the Wacom Cintiq. I talk about everything from how to get a cheap price on it to a good bag for transportation.
A discussion of why it’s important to turn your artistic eye inwards to truthfully access your art and your career goals.
Talking about how to say ‘no’ to a job and why it makes almost every artist feel like crap.
10. DragonCon 2012 To-Do List
A run-down of all the tasks that go into preparing for a huge con like DragonCon!

Onwards to 2013 and another year of great discussion on art, inspiration, and all the rest here at this journal!

What I Learned from NaNoWriMo

I think I’ve only just today recovered from the sleep deprivation that was last month’s flurry of creative writing called NaNoWriMo.

For those who don’t know it, it stands for National Novel Writing Month, in which you attempt to write a 50,000 word draft in 30 days!

Some folks have even moved on to perfecting their draft from this month into actual novels.  Winners get the self-satisfaction of having met such a goal, as well as a 50% off code for the incredibly useful novel/screenwriting/etc. literary organization software, Scrivener.

I didn’t manage to make it to 50k words (more like 18k), but what a learning experience it was!  Here are a few things I learned during this wild writing ride:

1.  Refreshing the Creative Well – The most important thing I learned is that having an outlet from your main craft which you can pursue without too much expectation can really refresh your inspirational well!  I’ve been feeling so tired and overwhelmed lately and participating in NaNo was just the shot in the arm I needed to find my motivation again.  Thankfully, the characters I’ve been exploring for NaNo have given me the right kind of urges to illustrate my own scenes, draw concept sheets, and much, much more!  It’s an amazing cross-pollination of inspiration.

If you’d like to read some snippets from my NaNo Novel, you can check them out here to see what I’m talking about. (WARNING! Unedited raw draft stuff plus some cursing. Melakim is quite the foul-mouth.  I love her.♥)

–  A Ceremony for Creative Thought – I was made pointedly aware that I have an actual ceremony for my creative process when it comes to writing.  It requires doing something to transition my brain from ‘work mode’ to ‘writing mode’ by resetting it with either exercise and/or an episode of something brainless (like One Piece) to empty my head of work thoughts.

I must then have coffee and something sweet before I sit down to keep me going the whole time, lest I stop and have to retrieve a snack partway and ruin the flow.  I also must write after everyone is asleep because any interruption throws me out of my flow.  Music was a particularly powerful tool for keeping me in the ‘mood’ of the story. I began my nights almost every night by listening to Song of Exile for Ramah’s scenes and What the Water Gave Me for Melakim’s scenes. (I’ve got a whole playlist for novel writing, if anyone’s especially curious what I listen to)

Getting immersed is important for me. All e-mail notifications and social media outlets are banned from my sight while I am doing this.  I need to apply this to my art time too. I have a bad habit of hawk-eyeing my e-mail, messengers, and other things while I work and it probably does  make me less productive than I could be.

– Sleep Deprivation is Unproductive – I haven’t done this many late nights in a row since college.  I can’t say that pushing myself this way really ended up making me more productive, in the end. Maybe it is for short term bursts just to get words on paper, but I think I prefer to be much well paced and less sleep crazed as I continue to write this draft in the future. Not sleeping does not help my mood or creativity, but rather causes me to doze off in the middle of trying to think of the more mundane details of a story while I’m writing.  It needs to be a balance of keeping our bodies healthy AND being properly productive.

– Routine Equals Productivity and Accountability – By the same token, scheduling myself to write almost every night really gave me a sense of accountability for doing this activity.  It made me look forward to it each night and set a high bar that something, ANYthing needed to be done at this point in time, or I am returning to old habits where I’d convince myself the tiny accomplishment wasn’t worth it because it would never amount to anything.  I think I need to push my art and drawing time the same way if I really want to get to the next level in my skills.  Those tiny studies and sketches are going to equal improvement, no matter how insignificant they might feel, at first.

All in all, it was an amazing experience!  I am hopeful that by the time the next NaNoWriMo rolls around, I’ll have a full draft to be editing.  Or maybe I’ll use it as an excuse to write the adventures of that immortal Gypsy vagabond that’s been chilling in the Neglected Characters Bar in the back of my head?  You never know!

So did any of you do NaNoWriMo?  What did you learn about yourself from this experience?  How has this informed your other creative habits?  Share with me in comments!

Entering Oatley Academy

I was awed and amazed recently when my family pitched in to help cover my tuition to join in at The Oatley Academy, specifically the “Painting Drama” class.  For those who don’t know him, Chris Oatley has done character designs for Disney, as well as taught in the animation and concept art industry for some time.  His website contains some very handy guides of pointed advice for concept artists and animators that I highly recommend.

Prior to this class, I discovered Chris through his inspirational posts, which had been whispered here and there by various artists on my Twitter feed.  Although he may be more focused in animation, something about Chris struck me.

He seemed to know exactly what was on my mind and what fears I was struggling with at the time I was reading his short and sweet newsletter emails.  His posts seemed to aim at the heart of what holds artists back, rather than echoing the emphasis on techniques that most classes and art blogs do.

I learned about Painting Drama after attending one of Chris’ online portfolio parties, in which he blitzed through various portfolios offering advice.  He spoke of his class during the party and how it focused on what it takes to really and truly tell a story visually.  I was intrigued once more because that is exactly what I believe is missing in my own work.  When it comes to telling a story with my art, I am that person that doesn’t know how to tell a joke.  I get it all out of order and then mess up the punchline. Ironic, because I can’t tell a joke in real life either.  Ask me to tell one if you ever meet me and hilarious fail will ensue.

So here I am nearly at the end of week 1 of Painting Drama and I have to say it’s exactly what I wanted, so far.   Chris’ lessons are like a motivational course mixed with thought-provoking discussions of what creates drama within paintings in the first place.  As an example, lesson 1 threw me for a loop by asking some important questions –  What fears are blocking me from succeeding and what are my strengths, if I were in my ideal state as an Illustrator?

Those simple initial prompts were far harder to answer than I thought they would be.

Already, I am facing my fears as an artist head-on, but also learning what my strengths really are, as well as what my goals are.  I may have been able to discover these things on my own, but it’s always helpful to have someone asking the tough questions we might be afraid to ask ourselves.

If there’s one thing that’s being cast in sharp relief for me lately with this class, it’s that nearly all fields of storytelling involving Creative Professionals are connected.  In literature, we ‘show’, we don’t ‘tell’, in creating an artistic composition, it is just the same. We show the narrative, we don’t just cast a boring, straightforward angle of the action.  We create emotion through composition.

To think, I paid twice as much for college courses that never touched on these vastly important topics.  That makes his class even more of a good deal, in my eyes. ($488 total tuition, or 3 monthly payments of $188).

Soon there will be a referral link for each student so I can invite you all in and also get referral bonuses to help cover my own class tuition (as I fully intend to come back for some of Chris’ other courses in the future).  Once the referral links go live, I will definitely be posting mine here for any of you who might be interested in joining up, but who also wouldn’t mind helping me make back tuition either.  In my eyes, this is so well worth the money and I cannot recommend it enough!

Expect more personal revelations posted here as the class goes on.  For now, onward to my ‘audacious accomplishment’!

Inspiration Dies a Slow Death

I was having a discussion with a dear friend of mine recently and she said something that really struck me.

“The less I read and sketch and talk to people, the less urge I have to draw.”

It struck me because I notice I’m having, and have had, this problem for while now. I’m quite certain I’ve even talked about it in this journal before so some of this might sound like a broken record.

There was a point in time where I had this incredible need to draw or I would just get antsy and feel completely worthless.  The ideas were bursting and they had to be let out, or ELSE!  Of course, this urge was strongest before I started attempting to do art professionally and I suspect most pro artists deal with this problem as they transition into the craft.  Nowadays, the Need to Draw is nearly gone, but the feeling of worthlessness when drawing doesn’t happen hasn’t gone anywhere, despite the fact I know bloody well that I’m not worthless.

Thinking on it, I was the most productive while I was in school.  I hung out with other artists and we sketched in mad hazes of creativity in the lunch room.  We had life drawing sessions, assignments, and access to a large library to encourage us to draw all the time and never stop.  Even all those seemingly pointless assignments led to more productivity after hours as I let it inform my personal work and bring it to new heights.

I think that’s one of the best lessons college taught me, despite my reservations about the need for college in a previous entry.  Once you’re out on your own, it’s easy to let yourself slip out of the habit of keeping your mind (and body) active with inspiration.  There’s always work or time with family or just wanting to stare into space and watch the TV because you had a long day.

I used to read a book a day.  Now, I’m lucky if I read a book a month.  It’s tough and I have to force myself by holding that next art book hostage. No more books till I finish what I have! This is tough for an art book bibliophile like me.

I used to travel to gardens and paint by creeks. Nowadays, I make excuses that I can’t afford the gas or the parking or the food.  It’s partly true, but the fact remains I need to get away from the computer, the monotonous routine that deadens my inspiration, and the environment of distraction that is my current household.

Another particularly hairy problem when it comes to the decrease in that urge to draw is this sense of being rushed every moment of the day.  If the art isn’t going to be a successful piece I can make money off of, my motivation to do it goes way down.  This dying motivation to draw is at cross-purposes with the fact that I need to do studies, sketches, etc. to keep my skills sharp and to improve to the next level of technical skill I need to get the kinds of jobs I want to get.  There’s a sense of urgency I know I need to learn to shake because every piece I make can’t go in a portfolio and that is a hard fact of the industry!  We have to make more than the minimum if we even want to dream of being successful.

I’m learning to accept that drawing a lot of bad art is a natural part of having one or two great pieces to include in any good portfolio.  This fact has been harder to digest than I thought it would, especially after my most recent portfolio reviews where I was informed that only 5 out of my 20 or so pieces were really worthwhile.  That is one hard pill to swallow, for sure!

I’m working on a few solutions for myself, the big one being the creation of a blog called Artist Ambition.  I started it to house all of my own little assignments for myself, like Draw 100 Heads or Paint with a Complementary Scheme.  It’s open to other artists too, since I figure I’m not the only one who wrestles with this gradual dying of the Creative Urge or the lack of motivation to draw those boring things that need to be drawn to increase our skills between those masterpieces.

(Drop me a line if you want to join!  It’s completely open to everyone right now, no matter your skill level).

Next up, I am hoping to make a monthly trip I’m calling The Inspiration Vacation.  Once a month, I’m going to get myself out of the house to go to a museum, a park, or a garden and just sketch, paint, or otherwise focus solely on things that inspire.  I can afford a small outing once a month.  There will be NO guilt of ‘ohh I should be working instead!’ attached.  Being inspired  IS an integral part of my job and I can’t ignore it, even if spending money on something as intangible as inspiration may seem like a waste to everyone else around me.

Finally, I have to say what an incredible burst of motivation I’ve had with actually doing something else creative instead of drawing.  Recently, I’ve been taking part in my first ever NaNoWriMo using my own original characters as a spring board and I have got to say that I have not felt this motivated to actually draw in a long time!  I find myself wanting to do concept art for their tattoos, armor, etc.  I find myself wanting to do story boards of the dramatic scenes I’ve discovered in this flurry of writing. Something magical is occurring here and I’ve found there’s a fertile ground here in my own intellectual property that can certainly be milked for my own devious needs.  I think also pursuing a craft outside of your work can really help refresh that creative well.

So here’s to my continuing education and the end of this long ramble!  Do you struggle with this lack of motivation to create art? How do you deal with it?  If you take inspiration vacations, where do you go?  I’d love to know!