Category: personal

Artists and Health Issues

There has been a disturbing pattern emerging the longer I work a creative job, one I’m especially beginning to appreciate now that I’m in my second week of physical therapy for ‘repetitive shoulder stress’ and an ‘unstable shoulder joint’.  This occurrence after a year of ignoring shoulder aches and soreness was quite the wake up call for me.  The ability to use my arm is my livelihood and being incapacitated in any major fashion could be disastrous!  Luckily, my issue is only a moderate one which physical therapy is helping, but there is a bigger picture at work here.

Thinking back on things, I have gained about 15 pounds since I started working long hours at the computer and art desk.  I’ve had stretches of mental and physical fatigue caused by overworking, tight deadlines, and just being downright lonely.  Sometimes I’m so passionate and excited about my job, I just keep working and working without taking any breaks. Other times, I just can’t get motivated. There is no inspiration, and worse, I start to lose hope that this job is not worth the mental and physical pain it causes me.

I can’t help but feel much of the downturn in my overall health has come from a decrease in physical activity and social interaction.  I feel loads better this year now that I have made a concerted effort to change a few bad habits.  These are some of the things I’ve done that have helped to improve my health lately:

– Taking regular breaks. It’s so incredibly easy to just keep working and working in a job that you are so passionate about!  I learned the hard way if you don’t get up at least once an hour from the computer or art desk, you’re really doing damage to your neck, back, and shoulders.  Nowadays, I have to get up or damage my joint more.  I take a moment each hour to go and talk to whoever might be home, take a small walk around the yard, or to do a few Yoga stretches.  I find the Tree,  the Warrior, and the Cobra poses to be particularly helpful for my sore back and neck pains (and are pretty easy to do).

– Taking regular walks.  I don’t have a lot of time to run to the gym, so mainly I just take 30 minutes out of the morning and evening to go on walks.  There’s a gorgeous country road right near our house which I can walk on for this amount of time and never hit the end.  A plus side is the healthy population of hawks, squirrels, blue birds, owls, and wildlife that dart around me while I walk. It’s soothing for me to get away from the technology and meditate while I walk to the sound of nature.

– Visiting a gallery and being social.  Internet friends keep me sane, but getting out of the house once a week to visit the local gallery helps me to meet other real living, breathing people who I can talk to, who are generally just as interested in art as I am.  After long hours working alone, it sometimes feels like my life is passing me by while I’m toiling away trying to make a living at an unappreciated, underpaid job.  A coating of stoic disapproval starts to settle on me and I have to shake it off by getting OUT, or risk getting really demotivated for my work.  I’ve started attending local art organization meetings recently as well, which has been great for meeting other artists trying to make a business out of their artistic identity (we are not alone in our insanity!).

It’s also been nice gathering a group of friends on Skype once a month for a ‘drink and draw’ event.  There’s just something nice about being able to listen to people I don’t see often and draw random stuff.  Using Skype also leaves your hands free so you can talk instead of type to chat!  Great for actually getting art done at the same time.  This has been especially nice when I can’t afford to go to the local drink and draw because it takes gas and parking fees and, you know, finding a way to drive back later once I’ve sobered up.  Drinking in the comfort of one’s own home is (theoretically) safer.

– Working in a studio vs. working at home. Today was the first day of working at a small rental studio instead of at our house and I can already feel the productivity juices flowing! (Pics and video to come soon!)  The space is a modest $200 a month ($100 since I’m sharing with my mom).  Being there instead of at home has allowed me to focus solely on creative thought and the projects I have to work on, whereas at home, I am always compelled to clean the house (considering my workspace is my bedroom and office AND studio, it’s very easy to fall into chaos).  I also get distracted by what other family members are doing, or am around negative influences that don’t provide the encouraging and positive attitude I need to maintain my level of productivity.

Another perk of the studio is that I can talk to the other artists there and not feel like a hermit.  I can also talk to any customers that wander in and peddle my wares directly, which helps to put a face on my work, and theoretically encourages them to buy.  I plan to add classes at the gallery to my repertoire of skills and activities as well, which will give me valuable practice at conveying ideas to others.

So I hope that this has been helpful to anyone who might be reading this and has found that the work-at-home freelancing artist is not near as glamorous as you expected it to be.  Good luck to you, and remember to take regular breaks!  I wonder what kind of health issues related to your creative work you all have dealt with and how you have dealt with them?  Please share in comments!

Gaps of Knowledge

It’s been nothing but work-work-work for me these days while I focus on getting my Etsy shop set up as my main outlet. I seem to have taken an unannounced hiatus from conventions this year, with book signings, Faerie Escape, and DragonCon being the only things on the schedule thus far. It’s been a much needed step back to figure out where I want to go, how I want to survive in the meantime, and what exactly I need to learn to make myself more viable in my chosen field. While I’m pretty confident in my traditional media, I feel like I still have so much to learn as far as digital rendering goes.

Slowly but surely, I’m completing new digital pieces and learning so much with each one, but still there is always more to learn when it comes to using such expansive programs as Photoshop, Painter, and Illustrator (haven’t touched the last one much, but I feel I should at least know the basics of it for my own good and to make my list of skills that much more appealing). I’m hoping at some point in the future I can take some of the courses at the Computer Graphics Master Academy, but that will have to wait till I have the extra funds. Wow, what a class list, though! I could just spend half my life in there learning it all.

So here’s me, feeling daunted by all the skills I need to brush up on (figure drawing, digital coloring, conceptualizing, lighting, etc. etc. etc.) and it begs the question do artists and creative professionals in general ever stop learning? I suppose that’s what makes our field so interesting (and challenging) to be in. 

For now, I am simply self-teaching and gradually clawing through the reading list of study sources I compiled earlier and a host of The Art Department videos I caught on sale. So much to learn, so little time! Baby steps, Angela, baby steps. Hoping all this knowledge sticks at some point or another. Just have to keep up the repetition till it does!

Till then, I’m afraid I don’t have much interesting to post or share here while I’m in Learning Mode, beyond some studies.  You all like studies, yes?  Prepare for the LEARNING!

Escaping the Void: Loneliness and the Artist

This particular topic has been nagging at me for the longest time.  I’ve talked about Work at Home Blues when I first started the freelancing life.  Now, a few years into this, I’m realizing some important things via introspection and talking to others in the same business.  Prolonged time alone is not conducive to creativity.

For as much as I thought at the beginning ‘hey it would be cool to be left alone to work on all these projects’, that just has simply not been the case.  I’ve had enough time to sit and think about what really drove my creativity when I was younger and that was being in the presence of like-minded people (artists and otherwise) during my college years.  We did plein air painting in class, where we would sit outside and reproduce a drainage ditch in watercolor.  Painting outdoors got us out of the monotonous classroom and forced us to think about the colors of the world and how they related to the colors on our palette.  The art students and crazy anime club people had a lunch table where we’d all gather, chat, and draw en masse every single day.  Talking to other artists got us excited about our ideas, and oh the jokes that pervaded those sacred lunchtime hours!

But college days are done and after those golden years of childhood come to a close, we are left to our own terrible devices.  There is no teacher over our shoulder saying ‘today you will continue to study and improve your work!’.  There’s no one to drag you outside and make you observe your own world and how it can improve your art.  It’s so tempting to stay inside and avoid going out because you’re going to ‘get more work done’ or ‘gas costs money’.  I find myself making those excuses on a daily basis and it’s led to a lack of motivation and inspiration more than once.

I feel the most inspired when I have experiences in my life driving me onward. This could be as basic as going to the park or Callaway Gardens to marvel at the simple beauty of nature (♥ the Butterfly House).  Or it can be as complicated as animators taking a trip to the Great Wall of China to make sure their project has the authentic feel of ancient Asia in their work (a la the creators of Avatar: The Last Airbender, whose concept art book I’ve been reading lately).  Creativity evolves from energy, experience, and making the unseen connections.

So how do we combat loneliness?  Get our hermit butts out of the house!  Go to sketch meets. Don’t have one in town?  Start one!  Facebook and Meetup are great tools for that.  If you’re low on funds, try your local park where it’s generally free to go look at some ducks.  There’s also the library where you can read books for free and study quietly (surprising how often we forget libraries exist!).  Join your local art society, which serves the purpose of getting your pale self out of the house and networking with a more knowledgeable crowd (this can also lead to marketing opportunities, too!).

On the note of joining art societies, I have had my own strategies of avoidance, like thinking that nobody will like me because I’m very much in the fantasy arena while most societies around here specialize in fine art landscapes and folk art.  I feel like I won’t fit in, but in my experience so far, people are there because they simply love creating art!  You are there to share the love.  Most societies will just be happy to have new members to carry on their legacy, as well.

Monotony is a killer of the human spirit. Don’t let yourself fall into the trap! Remember that solitary confinement is considered a form of punishment for a reason.

(Know of any places artists can find local meetups and sketch jams? Share in comments!  I’d love to know if there are any in the Newnan, Fayetteville, and Peachtree City, GA area, myself!)

Confessions of an Artist: Switching Career Focus?

So back to a serious topic I broached somewhat when I was talking about what is working for me and what’s not.

I’ve been weighing my potential career through a clouded looking glass lately.  I’m turning the big 3-0 this year and this fact has me particularly introspective about my path in life.

I could continue going down my current path of the feminine high fantasy and really try to tailor myself to everything that the licensing business wants (colorful, steampunk, unicorns, fairies, holidays, angels etc.)  All lovely in its own right, but I just can’t seem to get motivated for anything lately.  I find myself asking too many questions:

“Is this what I want to be known for?”  

“Is it too late to change what I’m doing now if I want to do something different?”


“Is my current path what I’m passionate about?”

More and more, the answers to all three questions respectively are No, Yes, and NO.  This indecision has led to more than a bit of art block for me lately (probably why my crafting has gone WAY up and new 2D art has gone WAY down.)

If you would have asked me what kind of artist I wanted to be when I was in high school, I would have told you I want to be the person who illustrated RPG books, a video game artist, and also write and illustrate my own story books.  One by one, I convinced myself I could never make a living doing any of these things, an attitude aided by the discouragement of family members and teachers who claimed ‘illustration’ was a dirty word.

More practically, I didn’t want to move from my current location to follow the job opportunities that might’ve sprung up from these industries.  On average, if you want the well paying jobs in the industry, you have to be willing to move to snag those jobs and I was just not ready yet to detach from my family out of high school.  Sure there is freelance, but for team oriented jobs, you are generally expected to relocate.

Nowadays, I’m haunted by the constant probing of doubt in the back of my mind. I am overwhelmed by choice every time I sit down to draw to the point the pencil feels so heavy, I can’t decide what to do.  I’ve decided it’s high time to empty my head. That old bugaboo, Money, will come through side jobs or temp work. If I’m bored at my current job, I may as well be bored at a better paying job and not force the art out.  I don’t expect to be inspired every minute I work at my job, but I would at least like a greater majority of inspiration as opposed to being absolutely bored, to at least feel satisfied with the proportion of inspiration and effort that goes into my work and the payoff that equals in satisfaction with money, life, and otherwise.

What’s important to me now is to follow my passion.  More and more I realize that my passion is leading me back to the original impossibilities – concept art, writing, and other such unfamiliar territory.

I can’t help but feel this is a step backwards. I have a book out already focusing on high fantasy illustration of a feminine nature. Does this mean I can’t change?  I have an established body of work completely different from what I originally wanted to do, in subject matter and even in choices of media (I am a traditional media artist venturing into a digitally dominated field. HALP!).  Does this mean I won’t be able to sell those older products anymore?  I am at level zero again realizing that if I want to switch focus to something like concept art, I will need to completely overhaul my body of work and my public identity.

I need to be at least as good as the people already working for the companies I’d like to work for.  I need to step up my game, get back to basics, and for the love of Prismacolor, I need to learn how to draw digitally!

With all this change in the wind, I have no doubt I’ll still be making art, even if it’s a bit different from what I’ve been doing before.  I hope you all will bare with me, all the same!  I have some wonderful art buddies who have been mentoring me during this transition and even the wonderful Hayley on board for a collaborative design project.  There’s hope, if I can just carve out the hours of the night enough to pull together a portfolio by Spectrum Fantastic Art Live, where it is my intention to tout my wares at portfolio reviews as a Concept Artist for the first time!

Today, I’m feeling old, tired, scared, and more overwhelmed than ever before.  So it’s back to square one, remembering my passions and moving forward, unstoppable. I’ll find where I fit in this big puzzle of life!

(Hopefully by the time I’m 40)

Confessions of an Artist: Touching Down to Earth

I started this blog 3 years ago in 2009 to document what I hoped to be a successful journey into publication, an art career, and to aid my fellow artist at the same time. After so long, I’ve finally sat down to re-assess where I am, how far I’ve come, and where I’m going as it pertains to my current career goals.

It’s important to stop sometimes and be honest with ourselves about what’s working and what’s not in business, because in the end a smart businessman needs to do this or you have no business at all if it’s not making any money. It is true that passion is key, but if you’ve made your passion your business, you still have to acknowledge these sorts of things or risk wasting a lot of time, money, and willpower by ignoring problems you could solve if you could just touch down to earth every once and a great while. So here goes…touching down with one finger!


What’s Not Working (Because I prefer to end this post with the good stuff)

The Amazon Webstore – A couple of years ago, I jumped headlong into the webstore solution because I really truly believed in Amazon as an effective marketplace for artists. I took a gamble and put up a good deal of my own money to buy UPC codes and pay the store’s monthly fees. It started out great at first. The shop was paying for itself and provided a great way for me to professionally present my products.

But upgrades do not always equal improvements and the system really went downhill for me after the first year. When year two rolled around, I only sold perhaps a total of 10 or less prints in an entire year? I don’t know what happened, but for something I was shelling out $60 a month for when all the fees piled on, I lost a lot of money. I canceled it last week even though the fact I’d put SO much initial cost and effort into the setup made me hesitant to do so. I’m only just now beginning to move my entire store offerings to Etsy and Artfire .

Sometimes we gamble in business and sometimes we roll Snake Eyes. (Expect the full story of how Webstore fails in a future blog entry).

Conventions (Both Attending and Mailing In) – I attended or mailed in to at least 20 conventions in the past couple of years, but honestly?  My average profit margin after expenses was about $20 aka. a complete waste of time.  The only convention I’ve ever done consistently well at has been DragonCon. I won’t be doing cons anymore, minus the few I know have worked for me in the past.  If I do attend, it will probably be as a con-goer/art agent and not a vendor.

I am moving on instead to targeting art fairs where I can sell my crafts or book fairs where I can sell my books.  The only conventions I plan to attend from here on out are ones that line up with my career focus (ie. Illuxcon, Spectrum Fantastic Live Art, etc). I feel they will be more worth my time and help me focus on building my career rather than pandering prints at places that just aren’t working out.

Prints – Speaking of prints, they just don’t sell for me. You would think they’d be the staple of an artist’s income, but they are not (at least not me). People’s walls are full?  Perhaps I just need better art?  Or lower prices?  Perhaps Webstore sucked my print sales into the void along with Jimmy Hoffa?

Whatever the cause, other things (craft items, post cards, etc) are selling far better in recent times.  I’ll probably still have prints for sale up at my Etsy and by request, but they’re not on the top of my list of things to put in my shop anymore.

Illustration as a Career – I have tried and tried to find art reps, have sent out to all the major Fantasy/Scifi publishers who accept art submissions, have sent inquiries to licensing reps…but have met rejection or silence or automated emails each time.  This is not whining, but merely a statement of results. I know full well what I would need to do to improve to meet the demand (ArtOrder is especially helpful for educating artists in this respect), but I find I just don’t have the motivation anymore.

Frankly, I have found myself terribly bored with illustration after these couple of years. I just don’t think I have what it takes to be successful in this route because I find the current trends that are selling terribly boring. The best among us can find a way to add their own unique flair to the trends, but I just can’t seem to get myself motivated.

You have to be willing to combine the passion for the arting with the passion for what sells and I have found that even though I have a list three miles long of ideas I could try to license, I am not excited by them nor am I motivated to resubmit to the selfsame companies I submitted to before with the current work I have. I want to be challenged, I want narrative, I want engagement, and most of all I need to improve as an artist to get where I want to be.

And that is why I’m considering a change of career focus from illustration to concept art.  Funny enough, close friends who have known me for years are confused as to why I haven’t done this the first time round.  Looking back on my most successful works, they are the ones that are character-driven or involve character design in some fashion.  I’ve collected concept art books for years. I’ve always found the most fascinating part of movies and video games to be the art books and concept art development diaries. I have my reasons for having not ventured into concept art from the outset, but that’s a whole other blog entry altogether!

Money – In the end, it all boils down to the fact I am not making near enough money to support even a small apartment. The job hunting has begun and so has a push to focus on freelance means of income in the meantime (commissions, crafting, and content editing, anyone?).

What IS Working (Just when you thought the ‘not working’ section would never end)
Being Published – Angelic Visions has been a great source of pride for me, even though I never would have thought an art book would be the first thing I was to write (I had planned to pen my own fantasy novel in the wee hours of the night first).  My royalties from this book have been sobering, as it’s only just made back my author advance, but more sobering is the statistic that an author needs an average of at least 20 books to survive off royalty checks alone. This book is not going to make me rich and famous, but it’s an accomplishment that makes me feel I am capable of so much more if I set my mind to it!
Etsy – Thanks to Etsy’s Shop Stats dashboard, I’ve been monitoring marked improvement in sales from a meager 5 orders in 2009 to 30 so far this year. And that has been without promoting Etsy that much. Now that it’s my only shop front after Webstore’s recent demise, I expect orders to go up exponentially. I’m focusing on revamping my shop now and plan to build a wholesale orders website to match it soon, as that could be a nice consistent chunk of income, if I play my cards right. Go figure that Etsy also gets 4 times as many pageviews as my website or Webstore ever did.
Networking – The one good residual of conventions has been that I have been able to meet and connect with so many wonderful and inspiring artists! Mack and Linsner probably think I’m a stalker by now, but it’s been great to meet them and find them a familiar face in this or that event. Meeting other artists keeps me sober to the fact I’m not alone in this ‘fool’s errand’ people call art and drives me to improve and succeed. I’ve learned so much from meeting others, both about technique, running an art business, and keeping motivated.
Crafting – I turned to leather and jewelry crafting as a means to de-stress from the burnout I was feeling.  While my art and prints sat there gathering dust not selling, these craft items began to sell consistently. (A good thing, too, or I’d be buried in butterfly keychains and masks!).  I’ve had multiple boutiques come to me asking to consign or for wholesale rates and, best of all, it is something I can do without being sickeningly bored! The slice of the swivel blade and the tedious painting of insect markings is a meditative exercise for me.
Funny how we stumble unexpectedly on passions.  My dad was a leathercrafter in his younger days and I suspect I absorbed some of that passion somehow.  I don’t plan on making crafting my long term career, but as long as it’s bringing in some income, it’ll help me out while I’m seeking out that paycheck work to make ends meet.
In Summary – Skimming out what’s not working, focusing on what is. Hoping my experiences help anyone else out there who might be considering a similar path.  Good luck to us both in this roller coaster called being a ‘creative professional’!

DragonCon 2011 Con Report

Finally! I am sentient enough to write a blog post about DragonCon!  This year was my most work-intensive year yet, despite the fact I didn’t have to man a table.  It was so wonderful to meet old friends, fellow artists, and attend many cool panels!  It made returning home to a backlog of work after all the fun that much more difficult.

My panel on E-Marketing for Artists 101 that I gave during the con is now available online for your viewing pleasure.  It was my first time giving it so I was pleased to be applauded at the end. Next time, I’ll be sure to include even more info based on the crowd’s great suggestions!

I decided to be over-ambitious and do a mixed media display of new digital paintings, jewelry, and masks to reflect my new skillset from the past year.  I’m happy to report I sold half my masks and jewelry and even a couple of framed pieces!  This year was the best I’ve done with a Gallery panel at DragonCon, though Print Shop sales remained lackluster.

Now for a tour of my panel! (See more pics of my gallery this year here).

 
Things I Learned
(Because you always learn something new with every con. Even if you’ve been attending for years.)
  • Mailing labels are your friend! Instead of wasting business cards by using them as title labels, a simple design printed on a mailing label looks even more snazzy AND saves me money!
  • Plastic Sawtooth Hangers look way better than using binder clips on your images (and doesn’t risk creasing your art/bag). The downside: Once they’re stuck on, they’re on for good.
  • Gatorade. The cure for hangovers, nausea, and walking multiple blocks in 85 degree Georgia heat in a corset!
  • What sold this year – DRAGONS (Derp moment on my part as this never occurred to me. Especially for an event like DragonCon), masks, jewelry, and my darker angel pieces.  Seems my craft items are staying my money makers.
  • When giving an hour long panel, drink plenty of water (or Gatorade). I was hoarse for a week after because I rambled the whole time at my panel without sipping any liquids.

Personal Stuff
Being able to wander the con and attend panels was great this year! I learned how to make items out of hardened felt, which opens up a whole new world of crafting for me. I also attended a panel on peasant fashion in the 1650s, which was great cultural fodder for my novel writing research.
A butterfly lady sketch
from Stephanie
Pui-Mun Law.
I also got to yack with Stephanie Pui-Mun Law and, in what’s becoming my DragonCon tradition, purchased her latest Tarot book, The Tarot: Minor Arcana!  Stephanie did a lovely sketch on the inside cover before my eyes, even with my rambling distracting her. Thanks so much for the gift of inspiration, Stephanie! Can’t wait to really dig into this tome. A flip through has already revealed tons of crows, swords, sparkly bods, and awesomeness! It will be good inspiration and motivation for me to get going on my own Tarot project, once I finally sort my direction out.
After two years of saying ‘I might go’, I finally attended David Mack’s charity body painting event hosted at one of my favorite joints in town, The Shakespeare Tavern! There was much talent packed into one place and also organic strawberry beer to be had.  David also signed my present of a rare Scarab figure from a friend, which was the source of much happiness.
I was also free to wander around snapping pics of costumes this year. You can see my meager collection of costume photos here!  If you want to see videos of my friends and I being stupid at the Night at the Aquarium event, check out Derpy Eels and Rockout Fish videos.
I’m not so sure if I’ll be able to make it to DragonCon next year with other events like SDCC and Spectrum Live Art tempting me, but after the success of this year, I’m definitely going to try!  Till next time, guys!  I’m already plotting a costume.

Confessions of an Artist – Romance and Artists

It’s been awhile since my last entry in the ‘Confession’ series. We’ve talked about everything from storing art improperly to getting out of our artistic comfort zones.  Today…I’d like to admit that at one time in my life, I was intent on being the ‘crazy cat lady’.

You know the one. That kooky lady next door with eight cats, who has named them all for pop singers, knows each cat’s personality by heart, and will talk hours on end about them and their adventures.  In my younger days, I thought that’s what I was destined for, and, in fact, welcomed it. I didn’t need the distraction of a huge epic social life.  Chilling with a few close friends suited me just fine. I’m not trying to be selfish, so for the gentlemen who’s reading this, I will recommend https://girlfriendactivationsystemreview.net. don’t let the girl you like the most fall for other guys.

I had an education to finish and a career path in front of me.  I didn’t need the distraction of marriage, children, and the dedication of time and energy and the stress that comes with it all.  I considered myself pretty darn selfish, as was my right as a person with free will to be. I gave a verbal warning of “Beware, INDEPENDENT ARTIST” to just about everyone I dated.

I didn’t think there was a way to reconcile the alone-time it required to develop as an artist, writer, etc. while also being with anyone, ever.  The cats would understand me…, guys however? I wasn’t so sure about them!  I felt that most guys I dated didn’t deserve a gal like me, who was always putting her career ahead of the cutesy couple time that should have been filling up every second of my free time when I wasn’t in class or at work.  I did not need to call them to tell them I missed them because I had plenty to keep me occupied.  I had stories to write and masterpieces to paint, after all!  Most guys found this off-putting.  They deserved a ‘normal’ girl who could give them the time and dedication that they deserved.

Boiling all that down, being an artist (or a creative individual in general) requires a heck of a lot of alone time just to think, practice, and develop one’s craft.  This leads to a lot of hangups on both sides of the dating coin. The Artist, who is tortured by guilt because they’re a terrible person for making art instead of spending every moment with their Sweetie OR tortured by guilt for not wanting the American Dream (marriage, 2.5 children, and a house in the suburbs).  The Sweetie, who thinks that because the Artist doesn’t want to be with them every moment means that the Artist cares more about art than them.

Coming into my 9th anniversary with my Sweetie (celebrating this very day, in fact!), I’m happy to say that the years have a way of making us wiser.  We’ve both struggled with our maturing senses of self and what we want from life, both fought with our hangups until I’ve come to realize that Important Thing:

Despite it all, he is still here with me.  Even if we get frustrated, we are both still here trying our best to understand one another and make it work.

He does not judge me because I’m rambling about what exact shade of blue the sky is (Cerulean or Cobalt).  Most of all, he is behind me every step of the way, as far as pursuing my business.  He has learned not to assume that I will always put art over him, but rather that he is a vital part of my happiness and well-being, a living part of my inspiration.  We’re a team, just as I’ll never judge him for comparing the dropped frame rates of consoles games versus PC easy slots  games.

Maybe one day we’ll make a family?  Maybe not.  I’m glad to say I am no longer judged on the prudence of such a choice, at least not by him.

One should never start dating a dedicated Artist with the expectation they should try to take the Art from them or belittle an Artist’s fascination with creation. It’s an essential part of their being. To make them any different is to change what you probably loved about them in the first place.

Happy Anniversary, my Little Kaio!  I do hope you like cats….;)

Back to Formula

As we say goodbye to 2010, I have to be honest and say that this year ended with a fizzle.

Sales were down, conventions were slow, and I hit the biggest burnout of my professional career thus far around mid-year. I lost my urge to draw and escaped to the loving arms of leather crafting (which proved surprisingly lucrative and therapeutic).  I started to think I’d never be able to keep up with competition.  I had so much to learn and a to-do list that never seemed to shrink.  The Muse seemed to have flown the coop permanently.

And that is when I realized something.  I’m the boss here, not the Muse!  I show up for work every day and the Muse generally mosies in after coffee and emails.  The hardest part for me lately is showing up for work, sitting down at the art desk, and at least attempting to get those ideas down on paper, regardless of any intended success or failure.  This, I realize, is the state of being an artist for a living.  Uninspired or not, it is time to work!  You must preserve a state of blind optimism that the inspiration will come and that you are a professional, whether the so-called Muse flies in that that day or not.  Your art, whatever market you target, will equal returns of some sort and a feeling of satisfaction that makes the job worthwhile.

(I imagine the real problem would be if the inspiration or satisfaction in my work never comes. Then it might be time to consider other career paths.)

And so I have decided to take this year back to formula.  I started this business of art with the firm belief that I had something I wanted to share with the world, that what I wanted to share was worth noting.  What I have here is fantastic!  Fabulous!  Phenomenal!  Awe-inspiring, and, yes, maybe even worth paying for!

In this new year, I endeavor to do the following:

  • Keep whittling down the art to-do list, even if it never shrinks.
  • Explore digital media without fear of ‘sucking big time’!
  • Don’t shy away from ambitious projects just because they won’t make money NOW.
  • Start charging what I’m worth for the time put into my masks! Apparently I charge too little…
  • Return to nature!  It always gets me inspired, even if it’s just sitting on our dock meditating for awhile.
  • Go to the museum more.  We have a membership and I barely use it.
  • Read more. My visual and mental vocabulary need expanding!
  • Join my local art society and stop being such an introvert! (Or worrying that my work won’t fit in) 

What do you plan to do in this new year?  Who’s the boss in your studio, you or the Muse?

How many of you thought of Spider-Man when you saw the post title?

Remembering How to Sketch

After all the deadlines and all the projects, when you sit down at the end of the day, do you remember what it was like to do this thing you love for fun?

I know for awhile now that I forgot.  Or rather, I just couldn’t get motivated. I escaped to the world of beading and leathercrafting because it was a way to enjoy the act of creating without doing the same thing I had been doing for the 8-12 hours beforehand.  Hobbies are essential to preserving this little thing called sanity when you’re doing what you love for a living…but find yourself at the end of the day unable to do what you love because are are just out of energy to do it.  Sad to say that most of us are not endless wells (Ursala Vernon did a wonderful article that perfectly describes this feeling)

Then I discovered SKETCHAVEMBER thanks to the talented Croaky.  It’s like NaNoWriMo, but for artists, in which we draw every day of this month in hopes of making it a continuing habit.  I finally sat down and stopped thinking so damned much about what I wanted to draw! I finally figured it out. I was placing too much on the thought of drawing. I had a mental block.

If I was going to draw, I couldn’t waste a minute on ‘fun’ things!  EVERY. Single. Thing. had to be for a prospective portfolio piece or mastering a new technicque or for a commission.  Instead, I sat down (nearly) every single night this month so far and sketched without expectation or fear.  I sketched for fun and to channel all the random ideas floating around my brain.  I went with the flow instead of wondering how every little piece would further my career or projects or portfolios.

I’ve also found it so much easier to teach myself Photoshop when I wasn’t expecting to master it in a few hours.  I could just sketch for me, and nobody else, and therefore revel in the little triumphs of discovering how this or that digital brush worked for me instead of comparing myself to others who seem to speedpaint masterpieces.

So here’s to the midpoint in SKETCHAVEMBER!  I’m so happy I discovered it and that Jen got the ball rolling for all of us. Now, have a sketch flood from this month so far!

Sewing Up the Chaos

It’s that time of the year again where I start feeling antsy.  My biggest con is just around the bend, the book is almost here, and I’ve got so many things on the horizon that I’m unsure about.  Plus a nice bout of insomnia while the gears turn and turn each night trying to plan how things are going to go down.  I warn you that this is going to be a candid entry, as I’ve always meant for the point of this journal to be an honest look at my venture into being a fantasy artist.
It’s time to start planning the promotion of the book.  Will the book do well? Will I make enough from royalties to help pay for rent on a bigger place?  Will it flop?  Am I going to sell well at the next convention?  I just have no clear idea right now what being published by a major publisher will even mean, how it will effect my plans, and that is driving me a little batty.  I’m sure things will become clearer as I work with the company to learn what their promotional procedures are like, but right now waiting for things to come together is absolutely maddening.  But the publishing wheels turn, turn, turn and that is just the nature of things.  I wonder if this is how all debut authors feel when they’re in that limbo time between the finished manuscript and the publication date?
I’ve had a rocky start this year as far as convention sales, though they’ve been great for meeting other artists and not feeling like I’m trapped in a dark cave somewhere gnawing on raw fish a la Gollum and wasting my life away chained to my art desk.  Am I making a living out of this yet? Sadly, the answer right now for my first year doing this is no, not yet. I am surviving thanks to the loving support of family…which makes me feel somewhat guilty.  Next year, there will be art fairs to help supplement online sales (and HOPEFULLY licensing revenue..but still working on a portfolio for that and researching the ins and outs).
And of course questions always lead to other questions. What do I work on next?  What will bring in money (but also not make me feel like I’m selling my soul?)  Will my portfolio be good enough for the companies I’m looking at?  I’ve had a very strong urge to try to get back to writing and illustrating my own stories, but is this a gamble I can afford right now?  It’s where my heart is and all the universal signs are telling me character driven art is where I want to be, but there is still an aura of guilt that such ventures take time, even moreso than other things, and that it would be irresponsible of me to not make money now now now drawing things that take less time.
By the same token, good art should take awhile, it should be something we spend a piece with so we realize it to its full potential.  Oh how I envy the speed of other artists!  It’s something I’ve yet to achieve.  The luxury of being able to simmer overlong on ideas until they’re brought to me in a shining stork basket by the Muse is not mine anymore.  It’s been really hard adjusting to this fact too now that art is a job and not a past-time.  I feel an insane pressure to produce portfolio quality things all of the time, or I am wasting my time.  This has really put me in art block mode because I can’t lighten up and have fun with my work.  IT MUST ALL BE A MASTERPIECE or DEATH!
In a surprising twist of events, my new leathercrafting hobby has saved my butt as far as making up for table fees this year (and saving sanity as well!).  People seem more interested in it than my art, which is slightly annoying, but what good does it do me to be jealous of myself?  Sales are sales and at least I can have a little justifiable fun filling my table with a variety of things beyond prints, yet another by-product of being an experimental artist overburdened with too many hobbies and interests!
The only solution I can think of right to sew all of this chaos up is to find a way to hyper-charge my brain so I don’t need to sleep OR can somehow manage to work WHILE sleeping.  So while I ponder on that, I leave you with a laugh, for what lightens the soul better than a smile?
(Crazy optimistic OVERLOAD or ELSE!)