Beautiful! You’ve never had a problem with creating wonderfully inked pieces, from what I’ve seen of your work. I think if you want to push the lights and darks in this image that you could add hatching or screentones for shading as well. Otherwise, cleaner lines like this generally require color to bring a stronger mood and visual impact to a piece.
On Other Anatomy
As for the rest of Persephone’s anatomy, I’ve made slight tweaks here and there. I shrank the head, as it was looking a little too large in proportion to her body. Unless your style is SD, heads in anime usually aren’t too much larger than your standard realistic proportions, rather that the eyes are generally larger with the mouths being smaller. I’ve also widened the wrist and slimmed her arms, as they were out of proportion to one another. I also felt like her larger arms were detracting from her childlike presence. Finally, I refined the anatomy of Persephone’s shoulder, as the lack of line definition and attention to the protrusion of the shoulder joints made it seem as if she had a hump in her back, due to the fact it reads as one solid muscle.
As for Hades, he shares a similar problem as far as no definition in the joint of his shoulder and pectoral muscles, which leaves his shoulder feeling like a large solid curve, making it seem odd and disconnected. I’ve added more definition overall to his stomach and chest and adjusted the perspective on his fingers. Specifically, I changed the hand holding the small of her back to only show the tips of his fingers, due to the fact Persephone’s torso is showing more of a front view than a side view, meaning we wouldn’t see so much of his fingers wrapped around her because, unless his arms were very long, the points of tension where his hand is holding her would stop as they curl around her side. Another option is to have his hand wrapped around her shoulder instead, which would be frankly an easier angle to draw and far less awkward, visually.
All of these technical details aside, I think you could push this concept even further. As it stands, I don’t feel like there’s much of a connection between these two, as you have implied on the description of your image (Persephone having a passive power over the infatuated Hades). Perhaps having her glancing up at his face would help her to appear more hesitant and engage him as a force in this piece? You could maybe even have his hand (the one grasping her leg) holding up more seeds instead, to imply even more interaction between these two.
I like the fact that you don’t see all of Hades’ face, but for a devious smile. It gives him the presence of a looming controlling shadow, which suits your description nicely. In the paintover, I’ve added shadowy swaths radiating from his face to help fill up the space around them and add visual interest and flow to the composition. I’ve also added a fancy chair for Persephone to be seated on to imply their regal Underworld surroundings. You could even push that further by having ornate plates of sweets around her that Hades might have been tempting her with.
You’ve got a great start here on a strong character piece! I hope this critique helps you out and that you’ll be following up later with a finished version I can share with my readers. Good luck, Maria!
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