Category: inspirations

Are Artists Crazy?


Now attempting to get this blog back onto it’s usual Wednesday/Sunday schedule. I’ve been so tied up in conventions and deadlines I’ve neglected any sort of regular schedule. But I’m back and ready to ramble!

For this week, I thought I’d bring to light an amusing conversation between my boyfriend and I. He has come to the conclusion from dating me that…artists are crazy.

Not like cut up your husband and serve them as pie crazy, but just on a different wavelength than most usual people. Of course, my own point of view is a little different, stemming from my idea that talent is something that is more trained than inherent. My defense against artists being loonies is that we’re no different than anyone else with a passion for what they love to do. Is passion so rare these days that it’s considered crazy?

Artists, and creative people in general, live their lives with one eye open always seeking to learn, improve, or to see something unique in the mundane. Like mathematicians, we seek symbols and some form of order in chaos that’s expressible by the living hand, the writing, the painting, or the pen. I’m no different than my boyfriend, who spends hours obsessing over countless numbered sequences, hardware compatibility issues, and the tiny systems of circuits that form the interconnected body of the computer. He finds joy in that kind of chaos. I merely obsess over how to better capture human expression, the methods for mixing colors, and how to build better compositions.

Spending hours trying to figure out why a computer won’t accept a wireless router signal, now THAT’s crazy to me. I’d rather just toss it at my boyfriend and be done with it. Having that amount of insane patience is crazy, to me.

Yet even in the movies, I see the stereotypes. Artists are the tragic figures, the aloof lovers, the serial killers, the crazies with their heads in the clouds. Are we really that scary? Does it taking cutting off one’s ear or dying of a drug overdose to truly complete our identities as artists? Or can we be just as approachable as other normal people?

And yet, I can understand the idea that artists just don’t fit into certain social situations. During my training as an Arts Administrator, it was amusing to see the differences between accountants, actors, and art directors. There’s a definite shift in focus from ‘budget’ to ‘vision’ and an effort to balance sense and creativity into a cohesive whole. Similarly, I have many relatives who just don’t understand why I’m willing to take a dangerous path of uncertain paychecks over using my perfectly competent computer skills to pursue working as a secretary instead.

I suppose I like the danger of the creative edge and the ability to do something I truly love. Drawing is like a drug for me. If I don’t do it within three days, I start to get antsy and doodle on napkins. If I can’t do something creative with myself, I feel pretty useless. I can’t sit and watch TV at night without having my hands busy with a project. I don’t listen to music unless it inspires some sort of mental image for a story or a drawing (though on occasion I’ll love music just for its mood or beat).

Perhaps that’s what makes me that non-homicidal brand of ‘crazy’? I notice I tend to be drawn towards other people of the same creative spirit, or those who have a similar appreciation for the side of life that invites one to think beyond the norm. I have friends who aren’t artists and friends who are, but all of us share a love for the odd side of things.

For me, where’s the fun in life if you’re just striving to survive? The human mind is capable of so much more.

Maybe I am a little crazy. I look up at the sky and think what a lovely shade of Cobalt Blue or Light Cerulean it is today.

Perhaps that is not normal?

What sorts of stereotypes of creative people have you seen or experienced? How do your significant others deal with your creative side? Let us talk and be mad together.

Whistle While You Work!

The busy time has commenced and it seems like half the artists I know are bustling about trying to get things ready for conventions! Excitement and possibilities are in the air and the countdown has begun.

So while we’re all working, I’ve noticed myself falling into a certain few habits. It seems I’m unable to do one task at once, I always have to have music playing, the TV tuned to a movie I enjoy (and have no doubt seen a thousand times), or a podcast or audiobook chiming with info in the background. I’ve lost my ability to mono-task in lieu of receiving a constant stream of information nearly every second of the day.

Lately, I’ve been listening to the awesome folks at Ninja Mountain, a podcast by a band of mystic ninja artists in the industry who have come together to share their secret arts. They keep me laughing, energized, and inspired all at once to really keep at it and give me hope that I can succeed if I stick to my guns. I highly recommend them to any amateur artist looking for good practical advice on stepping foot into professional waters.

I’ve also been going through a phase of listening to audiobooks while I work, the current flavor of the day being the audiobook of Outlander by Diana Gaboldan. The tale of a combat nurse cast back in time to 18th century Scotland comes alive with the very effective accents of the narrator, though I’m still deciding whether I like this tale in general. (If you’re curious on my thoughts of Outlander, I’ve started a forum thread about it documenting my thoughts as I ‘read’).

I’ve also got audiobooks of the Joseph Campbell interviews for “The Power of Myth”, the Kushiel series, Good Omens, and Paradise Lost lined up and a few new podcasts by the Morhbachers (a pair of lovely artists and friends interviewing other artists and talking of concept art and things) that I need to check out.

Yes, I am waiting for the day my head explodes, but until that happens, what are you guys doing while you work? Are you a multi-tasker like me or do you prefer the sanctity of silence? Anyone have any good suggestions of audiobooks and podcasts I might like?

Overcoming Graduation Fear

This journal has been a little quiet of late thanks to that lovely time of the year I like to call the ‘graduation rush’, as well as my own pressing deadlines that have had me resembling a freshly bitten zombie.

Sitting inside the very same hall my own graduation was held in had me thinking on how this time last year I was so full of excitement at entering a whole new world of possibility, but also overcome with a dread that I would never be able to find my place in the world.

Graduating from college with the prospect of job searching is a fearful time, especially with the downturn in the economy. When I graduated, I was so afraid that all I would be able to find would be a retail job at a book store. Every other job in my area of study seemed to want me to work for free as an intern or was just too far away with a pay rate that would barely cover my gas costs. I felt like such a loser living at home to save money on paying rent. I was afraid of being trapped at home never able to fulfill my potential and eventually losing myself to the malaise of a retail or office job doing something I found only half interesting just so I could pay the bills.

You’re not alone, graduates, everyone feels this way and I am here to tell you that the one thing you need to be fighting is Fear. If you are in the creative industry, I’m here to tell you it is not pretty. You will have to work even when you don’t feel like working. Particularly if you’re running your own studio or managing yourself as a freelancer, it will take time and effort and focus.

But don’t ever let anyone tell you it’s impossible.

If you have to get a job temporarily to pay your loans and expenses, don’t forget to dedicate a couple of hours a night to your craft and your organization. Take a weekend to work even if you’re feeling tired and just want to rest. Just because you may work slower than if you did your craft full time does not mean you’re making no progress at all. It may take longer, but it’s better than always sitting and wishing you had done something and regretting the fact you never took action for yourself.

Do not live your life by always asking yourself “What if…”

If you’re lacking in technical skills, try taking some online classes or night courses. If you don’t have the money, try looking up tutorials online, in magazines, or (gasp!) in that dusty old place full of old people that you never go to (aka. The Library). Nothing beats free knowledge and half the time you can learn exactly what you could from a class by reading a book, if you’re unable to afford the time and money it takes for training. There are some great e-learning courses available at SCAD and the Art Institute as well.

And just so you know, you don’t really even need a degree to write a book, work as a painter, or as an illustrator. These professions can be self-taught, though it is always helpful to have training to aid in your learning and to make connections in the creative community. In lieu of school (if you can’t afford it), why not try joining sketch groups, societies, clubs, or online communities? Having a degree does NOT make you automatically smarter or better than those who don’t.

On one final note, there is nothing at all wrong with living at home. Most of us feel ashamed at living at home, at first. I know I did…almost 30 and still at home! It took some swallowing of pride for me to do it. But really, there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking the logical route and staying at home longer to save money so you won’t be struggling and living from paycheck to paycheck just so you can have a place to call your own.

This mentality can trap you in a way of living you don’t like just because you’re trying so desperately hard to preserve that little bit of space. Why do it if you have parents who love you and don’t mind you living at home so they can give you a chance at a brighter future? This really is one of the best ways to save money for the future. More and more people are doing it as the rate of students graduating with excessive loan debt continues to rise and entry level job salaries become less able to support the cost of living on one’s own.

The world is full of opportunities if you can overcome that niggling fear of the unknown, the fear of being unable to act, and the fear of your own skills not being good enough. You’re not alone in your trepidation.

The only one holding you back is yourself and the consequences of your actions.

Introducing the Muses – Aurora Adonai

So far, you’ve met the lovable rogue, the faithless Hunter, and the werewolf Prince. For the last of the muse series, I’d like to introduce the first of my character muses, the beginning of my redhead obsession, and the most foul mouthed Elf I know, Aurora Adonai, street samurai extraordinaire.

Aurora’s Artistic Evolution:

The Short Bio: Aurora has little memory of the life she had before she was brought to the Home for Goblinized Children ran by David Becker at the tender age of 9. She grew up plagued by the abuses and unwanted affections of David, who labeled her his ‘Little Butterfly’ and sought to control her in every way. At the age of 18, however, something snapped in this once sweet, unassuming child and David was found murdered one morning with 41 stab wounds coupled with the words “Little Butterfly” cut across his chest.

The home was shut down and the children scattered to the wind, none of them willing to admit just who it was who murdered the home’s owner. Aurora struck out on her own with the help of her best friend from the home, David’s daughter, Natalie. The girls found the only work they could as exotic dancers in the red light district of Seattle.

Their simple life changed forever when the two girls witnessed a Yakuza hit by the famous Elven hitman, Oberon, son of the local Oyabun. Instead of disposing of these witnesses, he took them under his wings, Oberon taking a liking to the young Aurora who had a strange fascination with his deadly trade. He was responsible for aiding her in cyberization. Aurora was tattoed with the tribal style butterfly wings at her own request instead of the traditional Yakuza markings, her way of ‘honoring’ her murder of David, who used to give her the gift of fake cloth butterflies which sparked her obsession with them.

Now, she works the bar by day and does the dirty work of her Yakuza employers by night.

Written Stories:
Jade Tears – | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 |
Jade Tears Character Sketch: Serenade – Available Here

What Inspired this Character?

Aurora came about from my first concerted effort to put deep thought into a character for the purposes of a roleplaying game called Shadowrun, which takes place in an alternative future where magic has begun to re-emerge in a modern world. I didn’t want just another cardboard cutout who was a reflection of myself. I wanted someone different, someone dark, someone with real issues. She was my first step in getting outside of my own psychology and towards a character who was wholly different, an imbalanced, violent woman with little tolerance for others. I was fascinated by the concept of an untrustworthy hero, for that is what Aurora is. She may seem beautiful and like someone you want to nurture, once you see her emotional scars…

…but by the same token, she killed a man…and enjoyed it just a little too much. Aurora is damaged goods and she knows it.

She is plagued by that thought daily, that her soul is stained because she took that slightest bit of pleasure in ending another person, and does it daily for her current employers. And yet that little demon inside of her, the one she echoes with her cyber fangs and horns, delights in that feeling of power and the righteous justice she brings. Aurora stands on the edge of that bloodthirsty abyss, fearing the monster she might become of she loses her humanity, but listening to the little whispers that tell her “Come on. It feels so good. Why not do it again? You have the power now…” A hint, also, that she suffers from a possible Multiple Personality Disorder.

Aurora is a sado-masochist, a boiling angry soul, and someone who is anything but ‘good’. And yet, she still has a basic sense of morality, like many of my characters, an inclination to do the right thing. Perhaps sparing a child after killing the child’s parents, or saving a woman by maiming her abusive boyfriend. Like Melakim, the more years pass without hope, the less she will begin to care. That little light of hope in her soul is why she was named Aurora Adonai, meaning roughly “First Light of God”.

Come to think of it, Melakim and Aurora probably go to the same therapist.

Amazingly, this is the first time Aurora’s back story has seen the light of day outside the little known comic pages and stories, and yet I’ve had so many individuals come to me professing their adoration for this character. I believe this exemplifies how sometimes a visual presence is enough to garner a viewer’s interest, even if I’ve always thought she looks like a reject from KISS.

On a final note, I’ve actually had people ask after reading her story if her life experiences involving sexual abuse are inspired by my own. They are not, thank heavens! But it is the fascinating battle with inner duality and her own off-kilter sense of sanity, morality, and self-worth that echoes so true of those who have survived abuse which make her so convincing. I have known those who have suffered similar circumstances and who have come to fear the strange things they enjoy or the state of their souls after enduring something that no person should. But like Aurora, the ability to overcome these challenges lies within and only needs an ember of love to begin the healing.

I still have many plans for this character, despite the fact my tabletop roleplaying days are long over. A web comic is on the horizon and I fully intend to push her story as far as I can go with it. My ultimate dream is to see her animated or portrayed cinematically.

How do you get inspired to create for this character?

Movies with Angelina Jolie tend to get my juices flowing for Aurora. This character was NOT based on Jolie originally, but over the years I was attracted to this actress’ self-destructive beauty, her seething intensity, and her propensity for bladed weapons. Consequently, Aurora began to echo Jolie’s looks more closely, though I’ve recently tried to bring her back to her non-Jolie roots. Kill Bill‘s story of bloody revenge and sword swinging action also lend themselves well to portraying my foul-mouthed muse. If there was ever an Aurora movie in my lifetime, Jolie would star in it with Tarantino as the director.

Aurora’s Playlist: Available Here

I hope you have enjoyed this glimpse at the characters playing poker in my head and that hopefully next time a piece of character-centric art pops up in my gallery that your first reaction won’t be “who the heck is that and why should I care?” I hope as well that those of you who have mentioned that you don’t have any characters will read this series and be inspired for your own creations.

May the muses guide thee just as you guide them.

Introducing the Muses – Ramah Sirhaan

In weeks past, you’ve been introduced to the dark Hunter angst pot, Melakim Fahre, and his kooky womanizing thief pal, Ry Phirunaden. Today, I’d like you to meet his majesty, Ramah Sirhaan, the werewolf Prince and wayward soul…and probably the closest thing I have to a benevolent hero in my stable of rogues and miscreants.

(For all of you waiting on Aurora, she will be the next and last character for this series. Look for her introduction and the end of this series next Wednesday!)

Ramah’s Artistic Evolution:

The Short Bio: Prince to a desert land founded by gods, Ramah lived in the lap of luxury, spending his days in battle for his country, or indulging in the mindless delights of the palace. He was a wild youth until witnessing the public execution of an innocent man made him realize the state of things in his very own kingdom. He began to become more sympathetic to the common folk and grew into a just man at the influence of his betrothed, a free willed noblewoman named Syvillia.

However, when a cry for assistance against a beast that was slaying the populace in the poor quarters rose up, Ramah was the only one of his class who saw fit to take action. When he could garner no support in the matter from the others, he rode out personally to slay the beast, thinking it no more than an animal of some sort. He could not be more wrong after a tussle with the beast left him bitten and infected with one of the world’s oldest curses.

It was the first change into the Wolf in which he slaughtered his caretakers that caused him to flee his beloved country. For, not only had he murdered kinsmen, all werewolves were viewed as anathema in their culture and seen as spiritually corrupt. How could he serve as the future ruler of his country being the monster he had become?

Now, he wanders the countryside, a Free Knight of the Untamed Land, aiding others where he would and seeking to make amends for a life he views as unclean.

The Long Bio: Available Here
Written Stories: Mark of Cahim (Character Sketch) 

What Inspired this Character?

To reveal a dirty secret of mine, he was inspired by taking a fan character of mine from Dragonball Z and dumping him into a fantasy setting. The Saiyan ability to morph became lycanthrope and the debauched vizier to King Vegeta became the debauched prince of a desert kingdom. (Yes I know I’m a COMPLETE dork for liking Dragonball Z in high school…)

Soon enough, however, I found that Ramah evolved from his roots in my mad social experimenting into a character who had a most charismatic presence about him. By all seeming, he was a charming and sensitive fellow who chose his fights carefully, who was calm and understanding, and who could possibly rip your head off with his bare teeth if you knew what triggers to press.

The concept of battling an inner Beast that threatens to sap one of their own humanity and soul was one I found fascination with ever since I was introduced to it in the Vampire: The Masquerade, of which I was an avid player up till my high school years. Even more, it’s fascinating to see how a man put in Ramah’s position adjusts to life anew, whether by succumbing to his base primal urges or the soothing presence and possibility of hope that a very special lady might bring. It’s a paranormal romance waiting to happen and one of these days I may indulge that urge with this character.

In the end, Ramah is destined to succumb to the Wolf entirely as the years pass, but it is not this curse that will define him, but rather how he lives the rest of his years as a man. That is why his name, Ramah Sirhaan, roughly translates to Sublime Wolf from Hebrew and Arabic.

How do you get inspired for this character?

Movies and music, my eternal muse supplements. In particular, Kingdom of Heaven with its vistas of Jerusalem, haunting music, and tale of a morally conflicted character seeking redemption is one of the few that get me in the Ramah mood.

Ramah’s Playlist: Available Here

Until the next Muse, what character do you love who battles with an ‘Inner Beast’? Why do they inspire you? How do you prepare yourself to write or draw for your own creations?

Temporary Amnesia

Quickie Updates

  • I’ve just reserved the name Angelic Shades L.L.C. with my county. Just one step closer to actually registering the business! Just have to do a little MOAR RESEARCH first.
  • How anti-climactic. I’ve just received my Masters degree in Arts Administration in the mail…after being graduated for almost a year now. Margarita time!
  • In another miracle of productivity involving two sleepless nights, I’ve completed my entry for DA’s Bring Your Vision to Life contest. I doubt I have a snowball’s chance in HFIL but it was fun to be able to enter a contest. I normally watch them pass by and long for the free time it takes to enter.

Now, on to the post…

After drawing about 10 faces and heads for a tutorial, it occurred to me that I had randomly forgotten how to draw ears. It’s true, I know what an ear looks like. I see them on my head, and the heads of other people, every day…and yet, I just could not draw the ear properly for the life of me, which was not so conducive to getting a tutorial on drawing heads completed.

This has happened to me before when I’ll look down in complete horror at a sketch and realize that a character’s head is two times too big or he has the hands of a greyback gorilla instead of the masculine handsome hands I was aiming for.

It’s not that I don’t know what hands look like and that I don’t know how to draw them, I just seemed incapable of drawing that particular feature on that particular day.

What causes this widespread phenomena amongst artists? Is it a matter of merely being out of practice at minuscule details? Is there some invisible gremlin muse sitting on the ends of our pencils laughing maniacally as he forces our pencil to make the wrong choice of curvature? Perhaps we’ve merely forgotten at that specific moment of time where all of our previous practice and training vanishes thanks to temporary amnesia?

Or maybe it’s the margaritas? (I swear I wasn’t drinking one when this first started occurring today!)

The mind boggles and I blame J.J. Abrams just because I can.

Anyone else suffer from this condition? Share your tales of woe so that we may lament together in our temporary ineptitude!

Introducing the Muses – Ry Phirunaden

Last week, you were introduced to my dark Hunter, Melakim Fahre, this week, I have the pleasure of introducing the gentleman thief, coinessuer of the female form in all its variations, and sometimes cross-dresser, Ry Phirunaden.

That ONE cross-dressing incident only happened because he needed a creative way to avoid the Law, honest!

Ry’s Artistic Evolution:

The Short Bio: Ry likes to play up being the mystery man by pretending his past is more complicated than it really is. He will often lie to sensationalize it, but what can be told of the truth is that he was a child of a destitute noble family. His family saw more potential in their heir, his sister Ciela, and so put his needs second to hers to the point of neglecting him utterly. He ran amok as a form of getting attention, womanizing and getting into fights around town until he was finally enlisted in the Elvish military by his parents as a way to somehow bring honor to the family. It was their hope also that he might be killed at the front lines as a way to be rid of him for good.

In the army, he found a family amongst the other misplaced grunts and descended into a world of drugs, women, and atrocities, returning home as a war criminal instead of a hero. He and his other comrades earned the name Wing Cutters from their habit of taking the dismembered wings of faeries as trophies. Each bares a tribal tattoo that marks them as a Cutter.

The Cutters were put on trial for their crimes, made scapegoats by their government, and Ry completely disowned by his family. Instead of dying at the gallows, however, he was offered a position by an up and coming duke as a secret mercenary for the Elvish government. Ry opted to live, though someone was sent to die in his place. There is not even a grave marker placed for him at his family tomb.

Now when not in the covert service of the government, he spends the long years of his Elvish lifespan in boredom doing whatever odd jobs come his way and whatever sparks his waning interest in life.

The Long Bio: Available Here

What Inspired This Character?

Ry started out as one of those background characters invented purely as a foil to the main character, who was in this case, Melakim. He was to be the thorn in Melakim’s side, his stalker, his rival as a fellow Hunter, and the culprit for getting poor naive Mae addicted to smoking weed. Since those days, however, he’s found a place in my heart as one of my all-time favorite characters to write for and has far surpassed status as merely ‘supporting cast’. Ry comes easily to me and I never have to think when he is on scene, which is perhaps a bit disturbing when I think about it overly much.

Ry is one of those characters that I can toss into a scene anywhere and something fun or unexpected will happen. In one story line, he returns to his home and slaughters his entire family, with the exception of his sister. While in another completely different storyline, he falls for a lovely lady strong enough to kick his butt who then inspires him to reform his ways (if only for a little while). Anything can and will happen when a character has the moral flexibility to be good or evil.

Again, I think he emerged as a reaction against all the wholesome characters I invented in the past and evolved into yet another hero with a skewed sense of morality, for as much as he enjoys playing the villain. A villain is never a villain without something in his past that made him want to kick the dog. Perhaps he was attacked by a dog and scarred as a child? That’s how I like my characters and what interests me in any story…finding out the why.

Unfortunately for Ry,the endless years of his near-immortal life have caused him to take on jobs solely out of boredom. He’s been a circus performer, a waiter, a deck hand, a bodyguard, and oft-times, a Hunter. His stories are endless, but there will always be that hint of his unspectacular past that haunts him and reminds him that his life isn’t really worth much at the end of the day, and he knows it.

Which is why I named him Phirunaden, an amalgamation of a name which means those who walk the rainy path with Ry being a spin on the Gypsy name Rye, meaning Gentleman. Ry is yet another character awaiting novelization.

How do you get inspired for this character?

For Ry, Afro Celt Sound System rings in my head channeling the Celtic feel Elves in my stories have. Not to mention that the lead singer sounds a lot like how I imagine him to sound. Anything with a smart, slippery gentleman thief in it (mainly fantasy novels and games like Thief) gets my gears going for him.

Ry’s Playlist: Available Here

Until the next Muse, who are your personal favorite characters of your own creation? Why do they inspire you? How do you prepare yourself to write or draw for them?

Pretending to Forget

(Dear commenters: If you are having issues with my new comment system and are trying to figure out how to login with Blogger, simply choose the Google Friends option and click Join Site to comment with your Blogger/Google account. There is no registration process, just the one click. Now, on to the post!)

I know a woman who, very much like myself, grew up reading comic books with starry eyes until her mom would come in and turn off the light. Like me, she was always a bit of tomboy who never backed down from being as fearless as the boys. Like me, she harbored a love for creating with her hands and soon found herself drawing portraits and exploring the potential that putting pencil to paper could create. She also had a knack for doing makeup and sewing. There was never a day she wasn’t wearing the latest fashion which she had lovingly sewn herself. She rocked out to Hendrix and the Beatles and had all the free spirit of someone full of inspiration and potential.

But a funny thing happened to this bright-eyed artist. Her mom threw her comic books away and she was taught that money was more important than this silly thing called art that could never support her. She was made to grow up in short order. She forgot her love of creation, or at the very least, pushed it deep down and pretended to forget.

Over this Mother’s Day weekend, I slipped a set of watercolors into my mom’s hands and watched a smile creep on her lips and her eyes close as if the lids were heavy with the memories of days when she could enjoy such things without being judged by others. Against all other forces, my mother has been there encouraging me and telling me what her parents didn’t tell her. That art is viable, that she accepts it as being a part of me, and that she will be there always to help me when the road is hard.

To this day, she has never thrown a single comic book away, though we have moved at least 20 times throughout my life.

Now, I can only hope to help her stop pretending, to tempt her with the empty canvas and the fresh paints and the feel of a brush in her hand. This gift of inspiration I inherited from her. I hope to give it back ten-fold.

So the next time you look at your parents and think that they are just boring old business folk, ask them what they used to do for fun when they were your age. I guarantee that there are many out there who have pretended to forget their inner artist or had a dream that faded with all the years of being told that they could not.

This one’s for you, mom.

Introducing the Muses – Melakim Fahre

It occurred to me recently that there are a repeating set of figures in my art that most of you may recognize, but only a handful really know. As a storyteller and an artist, my art is driven most strongly by character-centric work, particularly characters which I have been writing about for years, yet have never really shared with the general populace. I wanted to shed some light on some of these characters that have been featured in my art and who continue to inspire me to this day. More than merely sinking into the background, these characters have endured themselves to my imagination, tempting me to distraction when my mind should be occupied elsewhere.

Without further ado, I present one of my most recent muses: Melakim Fahre, the Shadow Hunter (or ‘Mae’ for short).

Melakim’s Artistic Evolution:

The Short Bio: The nihilistic bounty hunter with a distrust of people. As an infant, he was found birthed from the body of a dead woman, an inauspicious omen to the clerics who took him in, as well as his strange, seemingly blind right eye. He lived life as a servant before their fear of him drove them to extreme measures and a botched exorcism. He escaped and lived life on the rough streets of the city before being taken in by a rich patroness, Siin Fomori, who has since raised him as an assassin for her organization, Blood Meridian. He spends most of his time as far away from the organization as possible, much rather preferring the simple life of a woodsman hunter.

The Long Bio: Available Here

What inspired this character?

This particular character started with the simple flash of inspiration that began with the eyes. Even before I had a concept, I knew I wanted him to be devoid of an eye. In earlier versions of the character, he was burned by an angel who took his right eye in battle. I created him as a character to be roleplayed in a past online roleplaying game with nothing more than a wish to portray a character that was not likeable, and therefore a break from my general leanings towards charismatic, moralistic characters which were merely reflections of myself in the world of Dungeons and Dragons (which I played in high school and college). Melakim started out mean, tired of the world, and more apt to stop and help someone only if they offered him money. The one simple exception to this auger was that he could never resist that annoying urge to help a child in need, which is the origin of his namesake, Melakim, the guardian angel of children’s safety.

Melakim is and has always been one who lacks general faith in humanity, and yet at the same time, has a burning need to be accepted. He teeters on the edge of falling in to that darker side, while being tempted by the hope that perhaps everything is not as he has perceived it in his experience, a fact which has made him most intriguing for me. Perhaps he is a reflection of my own past? Moving around with my family for the military left me with many days by myself pondering if it was worth getting involved in emotional connections with people at all. It hurt so much to say goodbye, it hurt to have issues with others, and yet, oftentimes it is only by interacting with others that we learn just how beautiful the world really is.

Melakim also presents a way for me to examine the psychology of the half-breed, or one between worlds. In his early incarnations, he was half angel and half mortal, yet never quite accepted by both, a stigma I can empathize with, being half Puerto Rican and Caucasian. In his latest incarnation, he is plagued by being always half tuned in to the spirit world, and the feeling of never quite being part of the living or the dead, especially with the way he is ostracized by superstitious individuals who view his white eye and and extra-sensory perception as evil. Melakim in all incarnations often felt lost and confused with no place or people to call home.

Despite his moral lack of faith in people, he still has compassion buried deep down, though it is a question of how long this compassion will remain. Roleplaying games have come and gone since his inception and now he exists in my imagination, beckoning me with the thought of novelization.

How do you get inspired to create art and writing for this character?

Music is a large part of my artistic process. Certain chords and lyrics strike a certain vivid image in my mind’s eye which helps me when I’m in the mood to create. I listen to a lot of music by VAST, Jon Crosby’s dulcet, soulful tones being as close to how I imagine Melakim sounding than anyone I’ve ever heard.

EDIT: Now that Melakim has undergone a gender switch for novel purposes, I’ve been drawn to different vocalists, including Florence+The Machine and Ellie Goulding. Funny how that works!

I must also admit an affinity for other long haired hunters, such as the Vampire Hunter D and Yasha, the demon slayer from RG Veda. Watching these anime flicks always get my juices flowing for Melakim.

Playlist for Melakim: Available here

Until the next Muse, who are your muses? Why do they inspire you? How do you prepare yourself to write or draw for them?

Ang’s Vault of Horrors: Gargoyles

…or more commonly called the pile of ages old artwork stuffed under my bed which I have never dared to share before! There was a time when I was obsessed with an old Disney cartoon series called Gargoyles. Throw faerie myths, Shakespeare, and King Arthur into a blender with modern mythologies and you have a combination for win in my book. I loved this series, and STILL love it. The animation still beats all the half-arsed cartoon series I see on tv today.

I was fascinated by the glowing eyes, proud demeanor, and aerial prowess of these gorgeous creatures and drew them ALL the time. To say that they influenced my early artistic development, both as an artist and a writer, would be an understatement.

Enjoy this peek into my early obsession with winged creatures. Many of these characters evolved from gargoyle wanna-be’s to the main characters of my obligatory never-ending fantasy epic (more on that later). Just about all of this work is from the 1990’s.

Just goes to show that we all start somewhere!

This was the very first image I did of the gargoyles sort featuring an ooold character named Nava. Done in cheap crappy marker and Precision pens! I miss those pens sometimes. Notice the crappy Photoshopped spliced photo background. I did that a lot in the old days till I learned better.

Here’s Nava and her boyfriend, Matayo. I had a thing for Spanish names and tragic couples back then. By this time, I’d finally discovered Prismacolor marker.

This one’s from middle school! Egads, the bad comic book anatomy.

This red gal here (Natalia), became my main obsession after awhile. She’s gained a few fingers since that last picture!

Natalia’s daughter, Helena. How we get blue from red is thanks to her very blue daddy. I recall drawing and coloring this particular pic entirely during a high school algebra class (and somehow still passing the class). Discovered Prismacolor Color Pencils around this point.

More evolution of Natalia and my anatomy skills. It seems I loved complicated tattoo and jewelry designs even back then. I still love her little wing arms in this one. Even they have blades!

Last one for now! This is Natalia’s red daughter, Coronada (wee more Spanish names!). She was the mean one who could use the little ribbons around her arms as weapons with moon blades on the ends. Still loving this design. I will have to do something new with it sometime!

And that’s all for this peek into my artwork chamber of horrors. Stay tuned for more as the excavation under my bed continues!

Do you all have any old work or ideas you’d like to share? I would love to see that I’m not the only one who made up strange tales of red and blue people when they were a kid.